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Was This Inappropriate?

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Gillian

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I have PTSD from a robbery at gunpoint as well as from a former psychiatrist and then this happened and I don't know if it was inappropriate or not.

This is what happened. Am I overreacting?

Wednesday I had a massage from a person I hadn't used before. He said working on my psoas muscles would help my lower back but it would involve stomach massage. I felt like I couldn't say no even though I dislike stomach massage but he kept pressuring.

I feel like I couldn't say anything and I don't know why. I always am able to communicate when something isn't feeling right in a massage. I always figured I would and could. He didn't rape me but hands under the underwear lower pelvis and on the side by my inner hips was weird and so was leg positioning so I was pretty much draped but he was working inner thigh and hips and lower ab area. The whole time I was frozen I couldn't speak and o kept thinking just let it be over

And then when I was face down and he had my arm stretching behind my back is when I am pretty sure part of one breast was exposed since I had no sheet draped over my back at that time.

And he kept saying I want to be the best part of your day over and over
 
As an avid massage-goer, I've had massages similar to this from both men and women, with hands just about everywhere a muscle is--which is really just about EVERYWHERE. I think part of it could be due to differing techniques. I'm not a fan of this particular method either, but more so because I'm hyper ticklish and it's just not an enjoyable or relaxing experience for me as some of the other types of massages. Either way, if you truly feel off about it, follow your gut. You could also always call the spa and ask a manager about the types of techniques employed by the masseuses to determine whether there was really any funny business going on.
 
Sounds right for the psoas muscle, but I've only ever had it done in physical therapy which is very different. And in my case, it was explained exactly what would happen, where his hands would be, etc., before we ever started. And he checked in a lot to make sure I was okay. So while, your massage therapist did not communicate the way he should have with you, there might be a tiny bit of consolation in the fact that what you are describing seems similar to what happened to me in pt and therefore, probably not out of the norm.

What should have happened, especially if you seemed resistant to the massage and/or because this was something new, I feel like your therapist should have explained in detail what he was doing before he started so that you could give an actual informed consent. And honestly, there would be no added pressure to do so. Maybe a "This would help your back feel a whole lot better if your willing to try but you don't have to" is as far as it should have gone. Knowing that you were hesitant, he should have also checked in with you throughout the process, to make sure that you were okay and if it was okay to keep going.

For your part, keep trying to figure out what elicited the freeze response. It might just be that the experience didn't feel right, and that you didn't know if this was a normal part of massage. That by itself, might be enough to trigger you to freeze, and fairly enough. Just go through and try to decipher if there were any more triggers that added to it.
 
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