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We Need Help - Both Veterans Who Want Peace Together

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Solidergirl, Feb 24, 2007.

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  1. Solidergirl

    Solidergirl New Member

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    My boyfriend and I got out of the army recently and both were in Iraq twice. The whole experiance was hard on both of us and I feel now it is taking it's toll on our relationship. He has recently been diegnosed with PTSD but I have not talked to anyone to see if I have it too. I know though that we really care about one another and we dont want to lose each other but I am afraid if we dont talk to some one asap we will no longer be together. We both have a lot of trouble sleeping at night. We both talk in our sleep and say things that have to do with Iraq or being in the militay. I wake up in the morning no matter how cold it is, in a pool of sweat. I feel like I can only talk to military people who been to Iraq because they are the only ones I can relate to or that I trust. My boyfriend and I have both been through some bad experiances but for me I don't feel like mine were any big deal if I felt anything about it its anrgy the guy got away. But when i talk about or hear about Iraq or anything like that I start shaking. I feel fustrated all the time and nothing really makes me happy. I can't even rember being happy. When I see others being happy tears start rolling down. I don't know why they just do. But where the real problem comes in is that I feel numb. I know i love my boyfriend but I dont know how to show it and when he trys to show affection I have a hard time recipricating. I don't know what to do because he called me a couple hours ago and said we need to talk and I think he might break up with me. We need help where do I go what do I do we have no insurance just the VAthat is no help on the weekend. Maybe someone here can tell me what I can do. This is my last resort.
     
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  3. mac

    mac Active Member

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    I don't really know what to tell you other than go to an Emergency Room [ER]. If you're a U.S. Veteran and haven't been out of the military longer than 2 years, medical care received from the VA should be free for 'service connected' ailments. Good luck.
     
  4. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    hey, i wish i could help. not a vet, don't know any personally. but i do know someone that can help. i will be praying for you and your boyfriend, and your relationship.
    cathy
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

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    Your symptoms sound oh so familiar. We have some vets here that you can talk too. The lack of emotion and the crying are PTSD in my opinion. Relationships get wrecked by PTSD. Has your BF accepted the fact he has PTSD. Anyway, welcome to the forum you'll find friends here.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi SG, welcome to the forum. What you feel is totally normal from your experiences. I used to think the same as you, in that I had to talk with those I served with because they could understand, but you know what? At the end of the day, they didn't help me, they agreed with me, and it wasn't me getting help from them, it was me getting what I wanted to hear from them, as they too felt the same. Whilst they confirmed for me what I felt, they didn't actually help me heal.

    There is one way through trauma, head on. You can't escape it, you can't put it behind you, you can't go around it, because it will always come back and get you eventually until you deal with it.

    Waking up in sweat, is your bodies way of telling you that your not really sleeping, your not resting, your just coping. Sounds like your BF is doing the same. Coping works for a while, but as you said yourself, you now at the end of your rope, both even, and here you are. The facts are, the only person who can help you, is you. Yes, we can guide you, but you have to be willing to do the work. The next problem is that people think its some quick fix, when infact to recover trauma takes a long time, depending on the extent. Why? Because part of it is dealing with trauma, reasoning with it and finding facts, believing in what is factual, not fictional, and that takes time to skew your mind to more logical thinking.

    It takes the brain approx. 21 days to reprogram itself with something you give it over and over daily until the mind believes the new information, or new thinking style vs. the existing. Apply this time frame to each thing, and it takes a while. Yes, the mind can be reprogrammed with multiple things at once, depending on a persons overall functionality at the time. This is why a person as they heal, they get better at it, process more, thus speeding up learning new strategies, techniques and healing in general.
     
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