falling_wave
MyPTSD Pro
I feel so lost and alone. I am not one to give up on hopes and dreams. For me that would equal giving up on life which I am not ready to do. I always feel like there is a giant chasm between me and happiness. It is blocking me from achieving goals and dreams and from having connection with other people who love and support me.
Every weekend and at night I get this overwhelming sense of doom and a massive amount of emotion that I'm holding back at all costs. It's only Friday and it's already here. I feel dread over a weekend spent alone with these feelings and grief over relationships that I've lost recently. At work in the week I feel fine most of the time but I keep rushing to get home for no good reason because then the feelings start. I hate being with myself. And what I hate more are people telling me I choose to let myself be that way. I am trying every means to connect and trying to go deep in therapy too but she keeps it surface and tells me it's normal given the circumstances.
What it feels like: Running a high speed marathon straight into a brick wall. Every time and then repeating.
I want and need someone who genuinely wants to be around me and my whole world would change. I can't stand this pain. It's like I need to be able to cry out all of my tears with someone who can hold me and make me feel safe. Then maybe I could move forward.
Every weekend and at night I get this overwhelming sense of doom and a massive amount of emotion that I'm holding back at all costs. It's only Friday and it's already here. I feel dread over a weekend spent alone with these feelings and grief over relationships that I've lost recently. At work in the week I feel fine most of the time but I keep rushing to get home for no good reason because then the feelings start. I hate being with myself. And what I hate more are people telling me I choose to let myself be that way. I am trying every means to connect and trying to go deep in therapy too but she keeps it surface and tells me it's normal given the circumstances.
What it feels like: Running a high speed marathon straight into a brick wall. Every time and then repeating.
I want and need someone who genuinely wants to be around me and my whole world would change. I can't stand this pain. It's like I need to be able to cry out all of my tears with someone who can hold me and make me feel safe. Then maybe I could move forward.
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