So I am not suicidal, I have been this last week though (seeing my therapist 2-3 times a week) but that's not why I am asking this question. During my suicidal crisis last week the realization that if I were to be successful in harming myself I would be buried by my brother (the abuser) hit me. You see he passed away 7 years ago and my Mom at the time bought 3 other burial plots right next to his. My family has no idea that I was abused by him and they would unknowingly bury me by my brother, to me this is the ultimate I don't know the right word to use here I guess, ultimate hurt? But I realize if I am dead I wouldn't know/have the capacity to care about this issue. But the fact that I could end up being side by side with him for eternity holds me back from doing anything. I am not asking so I can have a better option and can off myself, but how do I address this issue? Telling my family isn't really an option, and I have a twin sister who I have told even if I am 75 and unmarried and pass away and she is still alive she cannot let me be buried by him. She doesn't want to talk about such "morbid" things and just shrugs me concerns off so I am not sure if I can trust her with this matter. I don't know what to do, because this has now brought about so much worry for me (again the suicidal thoughts are better) but what if I was to die tomorrow in a car accident, or whatever I am now so paranoid that something is going to happen to me and I will be buried by him. I have thought of cremation but then again, I don't really know how to say "oh hey by the way Mom I want to be cremated when I die:.