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What Are You Angry About?

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I am angry at stupid school, stupid deadlines and people who are incompetent!!! I hate it when people screw up the things that I need to do my job, to do my schoolwork. I hate it when people don't understand that stupid PTSD is making it difficult for me to focus...especially when learning about TRAUMA...Duh!!! Topic is not so cool for me Most Days, and yet I get through. I am strong, I am courageous and all they see is me not doing my BEST. I am not a god. I am allowed bad periods. Understand me for crying out loud!!! Arrrrrgh.
 
OK, here goes... I am f*&#ing pissed that government allows large insurance companies to basically write their own bleeding legislation, leaving the door wide open to abuse and re-traumatize those who have already gone through overwhelming trauma. It's not right, it's more than not right, it's hideous, evil and vulgar in the extreme. The world can be one sh***y place. Man, that feels good ;P
 
Hooray for anger dumping grounds. Open and boundless, no one's feelings to get hurt, no one to tell you your feelings aren't valid, from child abuse to computer problems, the government to the face wash I bought that the freaking top that squirts won't come up and I have no one around to help get the stupid thing open. About to take a hammer to it if I don't make it back to the drug store I bought it at first....I'm angry that my free time gets used up in therapy and selfhelp books/websites to just survive and have little time free for fun when the rare urge hits....and I'm thinking that's a good sign.
 
What am I angry for...hhhmmmm.....


My father getting cancer and us watching him die..I was 14. He was sick 4 years.
Getting raped with attempted suffocation at 15...only to have the whole story haunt me 15 years later.
I am angry that I worked hard and got my nursing degree and now with my back injury can not work.
I am angry at al the tests, x-rays and treatments that I have had to endure as well as living in constant pain all day every day.
I am angry that my first husband abused me and took no responsibility for his son. I am angry that he does not care enough about his own flesh and blood to help or at least give the kid some good memories.
I am mad I sold my house to move to another province for a man,
I am mad that he bankrupted me in 20 months and I had to beg my family to help.
I am mad that my boyfriend could not and still has a hard time understanding the PTSD.
I am mad that my son was dx was aspergers, ocd and tourettes.
I am mad that my mother got into a car accident whenn i went off stress leave..leaving me to take care of ther totallt as she could not wt bear. I did not work on me...took care of her..returned to work and olny ended up off again 6 months later.

I am angry that I was supposed to be returning to work in a lower stressful position and the I hurt me back....three weeks before returning.

I am mad that there is a possibility if this back treatment does not work I will be in a wheelchair.

I am mad that I have self injured meaning have certainly taken too many of drugs that I shoud..prescribed by a doctor for legitimate pain and now two years later, I am addicted.

I am mad that i am going to have to go through withdrawal...in the new year, right through the holidays and that is hard enough on its own,
I am angry that I still get the thoughts in my head to

park my car in a storage unit, hose to muffler and go to sleep..... i donèt want the SI thoughts, unfortunately sometimes that route seems easier and I am angry at myself that I sometimes feel this way.
I am angry i was abandoned by my mother for a while when i wa s a jid and that she took her frustrations out on me.
I am angry that my godmaother did not take me in, especially after vowing to God in front of the church.
I am angry that I had to live with our youp group leaders and I wasnèt living with the only family i had ever known...i was angry...no one wanted me.

I was angry at 15 to be in an adult facility as a child only to be transferred to a group home to live with 40 year old schizophrenics and another 30 year old that did commit suicide. That lasted about 6 weeks......I BEGGED my cousin to take me in and she did but she was on her own bu tonly 17, I think. I fell betweed the cracks, I should never have been put in an institutional type setting. At the time i was grieving for my father and family and reeling from a violent assault........then for yoear I went back and forth between my broghter, mother, cousin, grandparents and finally got my own place at 18...with my sons father. I am angry at myself that after what I saw after living with him there was something wrong..I needed the strength of his parents. I am angry I didnèt get out sooner. I am angry I went back 7 times and then we got married......

I am angry I fell in love too soon with my second husband...selling my house, bad decision. There were so many promises...not kept up to the bargain. i am angry that I loved him so much I would do anything for him.. Iam angry he lied about how much money he made and liked to spend. We had agreed to save and replace the house ASAP as that is an investment..i had an awesome job and awesome credit..he had already abankrupt before me. He spent money like water and when we had a downpaymant he thoought it would be better to start his own business....i am angry that he took everything from me...took advantage of me and broke my heart in return! Iam angry that I still compare him to other people. I am angry that I feel like I really did love him and maybe the PTSD got in the way, uncontrolled then. I am angry that he would let me take minimal things out of the house and mostlt, i came there with them, everything I ever worked for....left back in Edmonton. I am angry that this caused the bankrupcy ...I am angry that people always seem to take advantage of me.
i am mad that i feel so alone and just has to be the way it is going to be for a while. i am angry that they started on lower back as the needles were in the lower back last time so now agian tonight i feel like my head is going to start, only pounding a bit this time...I am angry with all these physical ailments.
I am pissed that I just met a sneaky, good for nothing slime in the whole landlord that screwed himself it the end anyway!!!1 I am angry that he berates me when i see him in public...that is 3 times now.....3 police reports about 6 months ago.
I am angry that I have had to survive the last 6 months, 6 more to go in this peice of shit house! Never...have I lived in a place like this....what a lesson to learn, never rent from friends of freinds especially when you learn LATER...his nick name coca-cola.

I am pissed that whole thing happened and I am pissed that my so called best friend was soooo two faced.

I am pissed that people I care about...donèt care about me like I want them to or need them to.........
 
I am angry at ptsd.
I'm angry at the VA for not helping my sufferer- for being so overwhelmed like they didn't see this coming when we got into this war.
I'm angry that he is angry and doesn't realize where it comes from.
I am so pissed off that our relationship has hit the skids again due to ptsd.
I'm angry that we are missing time together because he is engulfed in gloom.
I'm angry that his vision and soul cannot see any beauty right now.
I'm angry at him for not realizing that ptsd makes him do and say things that he never would say when he is well.
I'm angry that he won't do the research to learn in order to deal with it all.
I'm angry because I don't want to walk away but my head keeps telling me to get out while I am still whole... can I be that selfish?
I am angry that one of my best friends doesn't understand the issues and pressures me to walk away.
I'm angry that I have to wait this out and hope I still have my man when the smoke clears.
I'm angry that I can't deal with it all sometimes.
I'm angry when I obsess about what he said or how he said it.
I'm angry that I sometimes feel like I have two lives- one with him on the good days and one alone when he is lost in it all.
I'm angry that he's afraid to tell me he loves me anymore as his emotions have melted into the pit of ptsd.
I'm angry that I can't be myself sometimes as I tip toe around the issues
I'm even more angry as I realize that with anyone else, I would have walked away when I realized that I couldn't be myself.
Sigh... pass the freakin' tissues!
D
 
I got tissues complete with lotion and a new big bag of M&M's to share with you guys...
 
I'm angry because I can't get my anger completely under control. When it is unleashed it's violent and it scares me.

I keep reading about, and analyzing anger and how to control it, but it's a natural human emotion that is within me to keep me from being abused and taken advantage of. It empowers me to stand up for myself and It's OK for me to be angry.

But how I deal with that anger is the issue. As long as I don't use my anger in any abusive way I think it will be OK. I just keep working at it and need to figure out a way to find positive outlets for all of the anger that is trapped in my body.

Tammy
 
I'm angry because I'm a single sole supporting parent who has no companionship.
 
I am angry too at trying to raise my child with special needs, alone but having my own emotional and physical things to deal with makes me so mad.

I am angry my brother turned out the way he did..I am angry that both He or my mother think therapy is a bunch of psychobabble.

I am angry my ex-husband will but a gift on christmas or for a birthday and it HAS to stay at HIS house......My son visits there 3 maybe 4 times per year, holidays. Sick and demented. I am hoping this changes with age but I am doubtful.

I am angry that I allowed myself to be so abused so bably by a man.

I am angry that I trusted someone so much I gave up everything I ever worked for for him....certainly not a good situation.

I am angry that the people I thought really loved me.....left me.....and really donèt care now.

I am angry that I have been ostercized by my fathers family because I wrote them a calm note...explaining my version....obviously not theres. I am angry that they have not bothered with me at all since them...only a couple of the cousins.

I am angry that I have seen so much death and I am angry that I still see dead people all the time.....people the took there last breath with me holding there hand....I am angry that I had to endure this and then keep it to myself.....How do you ever approach someone with....I have seen a lot of dead people......they would be running.

I am angry that I feel that at 36...my life has been lived and it really shoud be over soon. I am pissed i still have these thoughts.....I know I have to be here for my son. I am angry that I feel like He is the only one in my world that could not go on without me.

I am angry that PTSD has pretty much isolated many of my relationships.

I am angry i am afraid to date. I am angry that my friend with benefits...just wants things just as they are. Works for me but angers me that until my son is older and more mature there is NO WAY I could have a normal romantic relationship. NEVER!
 
Seeking Nirvana;

I'm in the same boat. The rage, it scares me.

Also, yes, alcoholics and sick people are breeding, that makes me angry too.

I'm angry too that I'm afraid of relationships.

I'm angry I'll probably die alone.
 
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