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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel pain.

Feeling sad, scared, helpless, angry, hurt, hurting, in physical pain.

Now the 'twice-gifted helplessness' arising out from my physical pain, anxiety and its helplessness, combined with mutiplying anxiety has me feeling very scared, sad and angry. I almost wish I could rage.

Feeling sick to my stomach, now.
 
I am really struggling. I am going to leave the house and finish my task then come back and assess whether I can make it to at least one class today. I know my friend will have a birthday cake for me so I am hoping to make it.

I am sick to my stomach.

Not being disassociated is tough at the moment. I have come in contact with a part of me that just wants to throw a tantrum and not do anything, and apart of me that is just screaming in terror and apart of me that realises I can't go away in December like I promised. I feel like crap. I also am in contact with a part of me that just does NOT want to change.

I also came to a place of acceptance that I can be a small person and not a big person. I can just be me. So it is a mixed plate, but overwhelmingly I feel panic and anxiety and terror. I will go now and do go to the three government departments and fix things up and eat some food and come back and decide what to do for the rest of the day. I won't walk but will catch a taxi as I am so anxious but I need to front up and do this stuff and maybe I will calm down.

I have been doing really well these last few weeks despite feeling so crappy.

Right now I am in the hole. I can't wait to get out again.

This is not my best day. But I don't feel it has always been like this and it will always be like this (some of the time.)

I did a couple of small things so far today and that is at least something whilst I am in this PTSD state.
 
Well I finished my task and got all the paperwork done. Today it was a major achievement.

I went to class and I finished a work and that was great. I did some good work.

My friend had a birthday cake for me and that was nice. The class sang me Happy Birthday. It was lovely. I felt shy but looked around and took the good wishes in.

I was building from an anxiety attack to a panic attack and I used my thinking and my problem solving and working it out and I calmed my self down. That was an achievement. I really thought there for a bit I wouldn't be able to leave the house. But I used rational thinking and calmed myself down. I actually managed to walk into town and do my business. I realised that my anxiety over fixing up my business was displaced emotion over December and what I can and cannot manage. So once I started dealing with that I managed better.

I did it all and then went to class. It was a big achievement for me today.

I feel good about completing my task and going to class. It was big for me today.
 
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