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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

A little restless right now...like I need to go for a run or do something. I haven't left the house all day (again). I have energy, but am not doing much productive stuff with it. Procrastinating working on my assignment for school. I feel like I want to be active...but I'm not!
 
I feel peaceful. I ended the day yesterday with grieving tears I have held in and not the emotional flooding kind that have taken under in the past but the kind that pass, those that come from reflection. It was such an enjoyable day full of laughter and love.:inlove:

This morning I got up and took Big Girl out for an early morning power walk. The weather is changing slightly, despite the showers yesterday there is drier air dropping the humidity and heaviness which feels great!

Putting a stop to the "voices" wanting to run those reels and reels of tape on all that is wrong with me :stop:
 
(((Charmedone))) (((Hugs))) to all that need them.

Didn't wake up so early and slept for almost 8 hours which is wonderful. I have some things that I need to do today, but I am going to let the day unfold as it may. Keep feeling like I want to cry, but then the tears don't come.

Feel a lot of emotional pain close to the surface and wanting to cry it out. No rhyme or reason in the present moment, but it is there anyway.
 
I am feeling good. I got my hair dyed and it turned out more red than I would like, she said it was because I had all of that grey which is gone. My head is all itchy from the hair dye, I do not like that. I feel good that I am going to go to my daughters house today. I feel really happy about that. I am feeling good. I look forward to today.
 
I feel tired.
I feel shaky.
I feel weak and useless.
I feel unsure about how my past trauma fits in with what I'm experiencing now.
I feel unsure about where to begin.
I feel sad that after so many years, I'm still (and to some extent just now) having to deal with this.
I feel like I don't want to go down this trail and have to face the demons at the bottom.
I feel like ignoring that I have PTSD and telling myself I don't.

But I know I have to deal with it.
I know I need to deal with it, to find healing and claim freedom.
I know that today is a gift and is here.
I want to be present to today, to not hide from today, to not hide from life.

So, I will focus on truth, and I will be present to this moment.
I am not useless.
I am not weak.
I am strong.
I am a survivor.
I am struggling, but I have hope.
I choose hope.
I choose life.
I choose to live.
Today.
 
(((HUGS))) to you all and a candle is burning.

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I'm feeling content and at peace today. I slept well and H and I have just spent the weekend relaxing. We have done what was needed and for the rest well we've just enjoyed being together - quiet nice after 32 years.

H is away tomorrow night and I am stressing about accepting a night out with a couple of my new W.I. friends. Another local W.I is having a comedienne come to their meeting and we've been invited. I thought I'd avoid it as I don't have transport but they have offered me a lift. I feel unsure, this is out of my comfort zone. Oh dear, should I, shouldn't I ........... :confused::chicken:
 
Depression is coming on as the numb fades out. Told my mom I'd skip my anxiety medicine today so I'd be able to drive over for dinner. It occurred to me that I'm putting everyone else before myself in doing that, but I can't handle the chaos of changing in inconvenient ways right now. Of course I'm getting depressed, same old routine, I tuck this away so no one gets offended that I ask for help when they expect me to help them instead.
 
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