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What Bad Shit You Haven't Done

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was just diagnosed by a Psychiatrists who want's me to see a therapist for EMDR. I just can't seem to make the call. I don't think I need to recount my trauma.

This year I completed 16 EMDR sessions and the vast majority (most all of it) of my trauma memories have been numbed (desensitized) and I no longer flash back and am not triggered now. However, I still have the startle "fight or flight" response to loud noises, voices, sirens, etc. And during my EMDR sessions, I did not have to "recount" my trauma during EMDR, my brain took over and trauma after trauma event were brought forth and connected one to the other looping together in succession and were numbed.

And @Bleev, when the multiple memories came they were then numbed, however, EMDR Therapy was very difficult for me with multiple traumas in that I had to contend with numerous sexual, verbal, and physical traumas during each session. You have choices and there are so many threads in this forum to help you decide in whatever you choose to do. And I wish you well.

To stay on topic in this thread, the father and the mother if both were alive would be thankful to know that prior to their deaths...I did not have the knowing of how severely they had horrfically abused my mind, body, and spirit...or I may have...given the chance cursed them out...and also...well I don't even want to think about what I would've felt vindicated in doing to both of them...individually...water over the damn dam, and under the damn bridge. Let it be.
 
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Place a frozen orange into socks and beat his face to pulp. Then use cigarette smoke to arouse his pecker and put the smoke on his urethra opening. Burning the thin delicate skin to expose the spongy bloody flesh peppered with cigarette ash.

Sit back..watch him breathe.
Light another smoke..repeat the burn. Pour Listerine on all his wounds and use a toothbrush to bristle the wounds. Did i mention this toothbrush took a few dives into doggy do. Each brush intensifies his pain, embedded microbes deeper and close to his bloodstream.

Lighter burnt scrotum....3..2..1
Hahahhahahahaha
 
@Friday, although you're the brother having every brother's backs :D

<backs off thread because I still keep thinking of how to post here; You Know You Have PTSD when you can't post to your more guilt-ridding threads on a PTSD forum. :facepalm: But let's hope friends&funzone bullshitting around works for what booze can't>
 
@Ronin ... We always used brother & dog when I was in... Just because it was considered gross to f*ck you sister! :roflmao: We try not to examine the details of that sentiment too closely. Sister's gross, but brother & dog ain't? :speechless: Marines. Shrug. What can I say?

Gotten me into some trouble online though, in the past. Just because I don't even notice, most of the time. In person no worries, the T&A is readily apparent. Online? Cha. Good catch.
 
@Friday, LMAO.

You know, some got for granted shit others have to work for! :hilarious:

And I turned that dog sentiment into 'the best friend of a human'. 'Cos it ain't any sort of skeevy that way, after all. Best buds woulda be fair game. :whistling: Seez the logic and all. Yanno what. I'm not contemplating. But good on you on (not) keeping order on the roads, all the same.
 
Stayed in the same countries when ideation became more than a temptation.

Enough said, isolating being as normal & familiar places as possible is a thing until Dark&IDGAF, none-of-you-shits-ever-/were/-human, passes. Otherwise known as: Don't f*cking push me. Or: Proudlist: Lockdown & Zap it done workably. The rest is a land I'm not able to talk without booze and opiates & considerable amount of Lived-Alike-Experience.
 
Thanks Link Removed, sorry you know how I...
How are you doing now? You have been on my mind a lot. I hope you are finding things to keep your mind in a positive light. I am working on those kinds of things also. I wrote a poem, for instance. What do you like to do to keep in a good mood?
 
I'm so sorry to have worried you. I'm doing okay after some distraction. I wish I had a hobby but nothing like that interests me, Guess the best I have is maintaining a daily schedule..I walk 45 min, rest 20, walk 45 min, rest 1hr, lay in the sun for 30, rest, shower...etc. I was thinking of taking up painting again...I did enjoy that 30 years ago in highschool. Today I organized my meditation stuff, thought maybe that would help.

But thank you so much Link Removed for thinking of me. Such a kind heart...

Poetry sounds like a nice way to express those inner thoughts...

@Link Removed thanks for the guidance.

Sorry if I derailed this thread.

Have a great evening everyone.
 
Ahh poetry.... yes yes. Lets see what poetry bad shit not done...yet.


Rustling winds
Where to begin
Ahh it is Ted
Found him in my bed
The pipe was lead
The bulds L.E.Dee
Oooh weee weee
A spin and a spunk
The neighbours heard a clunk
I saw chunks of red
I saw chunks of Ted
It was the winds that blew
It wasnt not me she said
I giggled and smiled
The bed now empty
All mine is fine
Chunks of Ted what to do
Baby lets cook some stew
Chunks of red
Dont worry folks
TEDs not Dead.
He just apple cobbler sticky
RED!!!!

Ahh poetry.... yes yes. Lets see what poetry bad shit not done...yet.


Rustling winds
Where to b...

FYI: Not referring to teddy bear Ted.
 
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