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What Chat is NOT For...

Discussion in 'Social' started by becvan, Nov 24, 2007.

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  1. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    This seems to be necessary.

    Chat is NOT for, asking members to help you through a crisis. In fact, that is rather selfish. Members could be very sick themselves. Also members are not YOUR THERAPIST.

    Also, chat is not for other members to beg another member to help. We have a pm system for requesting that. Again, we are NOT THERAPISTS.

    We are not there to talk another member through suicide. We are not there for a crisis hot line.

    If you feel that you need assistance talking through a crisis, please use an actual hot line, therapist etc..

    Sending pm's to ask to discuss stuff is fine, to a point. Just don't expect members to drop everything for you. We are all sick here.

    bec
     
    suzie q likes this.
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  3. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    I went in the chat today and immediately more than one person is jumping on me for help. Like immediately. Not even a hello first. It was insane. Someone immediately private messaged me to help someone else... honestly I'm floored by that person's nerve. I just got out of hospital, I've been having a bad weekend missing my parents (they are away and I have a hard time with that) and I could barely get out of bed this morning. Just so you all know, this thread is about ME:

    [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread6056.html[/DLMURL]

    I'm somewhat better now, I wouldn't be online otherwise, and I'm not mentioning it for pity, but just so people are aware, everyone has issues they are dealing with here. I for one don't want to talk about my trauma (or anyone else's) 24/7. If that makes me a selfish bitch then so be it. Doesn't anyone else just want a break from having to think about the PTSD??? Honestly today I just wanted to laugh a bit because I was feeling down. I felt guilty for saying no I don't want to talk about problems. But honestly I can't, I don't have the energy, and I can't give away what I don't have.
     
  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread5113.html[/DLMURL]

    A reminder seems in order so here is the link.

    I want to add this is different than a private chat that has been arranged through PMs as I have had many private chats and have been a willing participant. If you decide one on one to make a private chat and the other PTSDer does not mind them getting them self worse over then that is their business but don't just spring it on people who enter the chat room.

    Saturday chat is once a week as a group to BS about life in general and cut up. Not to pounce on others sick for help. Saturday chat is a nice break, or usually meant to be, from all the PTSD shit. We all recognize the next in there has it and should respect that but isn't it nice to talk about things not revolving around PTSD?

    Things are posted on the forum and we can come to it in our own time when we feel up to it. It is unfair to fellow sufferers to again "pounce" for lack of a better word.

    I spoke to bec earlier today and I "knew" this was likely and since I was too sick to handle she knew I would not be near chat today. And ya know what that is pretty damn unfair that I am able to know this ahead of time. I am a member too and deserve to just shoot the shit once a week and not be cornered. So does every member here!

    It is a general chat room. Not emergency services nor a hot line. Again, you can arrange in PMs a PRIVATE chat and create a private room. I also have to discourage piling on PMs because you see someone is in chat. Just use some common sense as to how you would like to be treated when you are not feeling well. None of us do surprises well.
     
  5. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I suspect I unwittingly contributed to this occurrence in chat and I just wanted to say I am very sorry to you all. I've never done the Saturday group chat, but I still should have realized that it was just for fun. I could be the poster child for giving in to the impulse to help someone else when I'm already pretty sick myself. Not a healthy thing to do. And now I see I've helped encourage that kind of expectation on others.

    Bec, I appreciate the reminder you stated so well.

    Evie, I'm sorry for my role in this unpleasantness for you.

    Veiled, thank you for further clarification.

    Again, I am very sorry about this.
     
  6. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

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    Very good point. I try to help if I can, not to fix the persons problem but to help them see a way they might be able to help themselves. :Hug_emoticon:

    But you did miss one important thing you can't do in the chat room- making out. Computer screens are such terrible kissers! :poke::rofl:
     
  7. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    As a retired therapist myself, I must warn against "playing therapist" or allowing others to play therapist with your life. It is very dangerous indeed. You could wind up seriously hurt. Regardless of how one feels about therapists, there is a reason we are trained as we are. We are professionals, and a large part of that professional training is learning to not internalize the problems and issues of clients. Even with years of practice it is most difficult to master. Of course all of you here are adults and may do as you wish however I would not recommend this behaviour. PTSD is an extremely serious illness, not to be toyed with.

    As has already been mentioned, this forum exists for support and education, not as a crisis line. Most cities and towns have 24 hour crisis lines, bigger cities also have hotlines for suicide specifically. In our area for instance, we have a mobile crisis unit which will dispatch a crisis worker to visit you in your home, day or night. If you are suicidal and do not have family, friends or a doctor to speak with, your local crisis centre will speak with you and advise you. You will usually find crisis centres on the first page of your telephone book, along with police, fire and other emergency numbers. They have the training and means to truly assist you, unlike the members upon this forum.
     
  8. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    This is why this forum has a [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/misc.php?do=page&template=disclaimer"]legal agreement[/DLMURL] in which simply reading, registering or participating you have agreed to this document through continued use of an interactive service. One reason the age of 18 exists, is because you must be classified as an adult under Australian law, which is 18 years of age. Australian law exists surrounding this component as I am in Australia, the owner of the forum, thus Australian law applies to anything of an executive / administrative nature. At the age of 18 you are classified legally as an adult, regardless what other countries law requires. Obviously individuals must comply to their relevant laws, though I must administer to Australian law.

    This means as an adult you are responsible for your own actions, decisions and choices. This forum is clearly defined as an online resource to help yourself, not a resource that caters immediate crisis help. In fact we have clearly stated this forum is not a crisis centre nor a supplement or replacement for such. This is clearly outline within the legal policy. If a person is suicidal or in crisis, each country has their relevant crisis and suicide hotlines made specifically available to cater local emergencies.

    This forum is of an International basis, which means firstly talking to a person here is not a viable solution for local help. Next thing is that this forum is made up of untrained personnel, which as Kathy eluded above; these very people become personally involved unlike a professional who has been trained not to do such. There is a reason for this, and that is being a trained local professional can help you, someone here online may only make things worse for you and you will likely make others more ill by such issues.

    I made this community a forum first for a reason, being that you post your issue and someone will respond when they have the time and control over how and if they respond. This ensures sufferers, carers and the like can manage their interaction and time within the community. People have lives, they have other more important matters to deal with daily than attempting to fix the world.

    We all have local doctors, hospitals and crisis lines in which we can contact for immediate help. If you have two adults here who want to go into chat and use it correctly, being that if they want private discussion to use either the private communicator system or IM system, or create a private room and chat within that room only, not in the general room that everyone lands when opening the chat.

    Sending private messages does not mean they will be answered immediately, so your only letting yourself down by thinking this forum is a crisis centre, as its not. This forum is for the day to day general discussion, support and help surrounding PTSD, the day to day reassurance that your not alone, and the list goes on. This forum has never been, nor ever will be a crisis centre substitution or the like.

    Please do not use any aspect of this forum as such, regardless how you feel personally at any given time, otherwise you will just end up back in moderation again.
     
    suzie q likes this.
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