FindingMyself88
MyPTSD Pro
I've been thinking a lot lately about the differences between anxiety and panic attacks and how they are different for everyone. I have both and they seem to come with different levels. The worst are when I'm at work or in class.
Normally I have general anxiety over getting through the day (made worse with depression). This normally looks like me either isolating myself or being zoned out.
A full anxiety attack normally happens at work or class. I work at Chick Fil A and right now at work we are in the holiday season and it is hectic! This past March they promoted me to manager and a lot of the older employees who had been there longer did not like this to say the least! So I have had some huge hurdles to overcome with that. I have a very low self-esteem and so often time when pressure is put on, it causes great anxiety.
For example, last night was really bad. It didn't help that I had group DBT therapy before going into work and the therapist overseeing the group wants me to work on telling my dad what is going on and that I need some space. Then I get to work 15 minutes early from what I had been told was my scheduled time, but my boss tells me I was suppose to be at work an hour ago (which is when i was still in therapy)! A new director is making our schedules now and I told him specifically that on Tuesdays I couldn't work until after 6. Come to find out my boss had read the schedule wrong, but by this time I was already upset. Normally when regular anxiety attacks happen, no one can tell something is wrong unless they really know me or its a bad attack. I feel like there is a a metal grip on my lungs and i get very frustrated and disoriented. If they start to get too bad, I will excuse myself and go to the bathroom to calm down.
I typically only get panic attacks when I have flashbacks, nightmares, or someone says or does something that triggers me. For instance, my roommate was helping me dye my hair last month and when i was rinsing it out, she came in and saw I was missing a spot. She decided to step in and help and before I knew it she had grabbed the nozzle and started rinsing my head. It lasted only about 5 seconds before I began freaking out. My mom use to hold my head in the sink or shower and spray the water all over, not caring if it went in my eyes and nose which almost choked me. If I resisted, she would pull my hair or hit me with the nozzle. Thankfully my roommate let me go and I ran and got into my safety corner in my room, which is between my bed and the wall. I couldn't breathe properly, was crying insanely, and trembling. She has panic attacks herself, so she knew just to leave me alone.
I also have nightmares every night, well more like flashback nightmares. I wake up from these in the same state and end up either going outside or in the corner by my bed…
anyways, can any of you tell the differences? I use to think that I didn't really have anxiety until my therapist told me that I did..
Normally I have general anxiety over getting through the day (made worse with depression). This normally looks like me either isolating myself or being zoned out.
A full anxiety attack normally happens at work or class. I work at Chick Fil A and right now at work we are in the holiday season and it is hectic! This past March they promoted me to manager and a lot of the older employees who had been there longer did not like this to say the least! So I have had some huge hurdles to overcome with that. I have a very low self-esteem and so often time when pressure is put on, it causes great anxiety.
For example, last night was really bad. It didn't help that I had group DBT therapy before going into work and the therapist overseeing the group wants me to work on telling my dad what is going on and that I need some space. Then I get to work 15 minutes early from what I had been told was my scheduled time, but my boss tells me I was suppose to be at work an hour ago (which is when i was still in therapy)! A new director is making our schedules now and I told him specifically that on Tuesdays I couldn't work until after 6. Come to find out my boss had read the schedule wrong, but by this time I was already upset. Normally when regular anxiety attacks happen, no one can tell something is wrong unless they really know me or its a bad attack. I feel like there is a a metal grip on my lungs and i get very frustrated and disoriented. If they start to get too bad, I will excuse myself and go to the bathroom to calm down.
I typically only get panic attacks when I have flashbacks, nightmares, or someone says or does something that triggers me. For instance, my roommate was helping me dye my hair last month and when i was rinsing it out, she came in and saw I was missing a spot. She decided to step in and help and before I knew it she had grabbed the nozzle and started rinsing my head. It lasted only about 5 seconds before I began freaking out. My mom use to hold my head in the sink or shower and spray the water all over, not caring if it went in my eyes and nose which almost choked me. If I resisted, she would pull my hair or hit me with the nozzle. Thankfully my roommate let me go and I ran and got into my safety corner in my room, which is between my bed and the wall. I couldn't breathe properly, was crying insanely, and trembling. She has panic attacks herself, so she knew just to leave me alone.
I also have nightmares every night, well more like flashback nightmares. I wake up from these in the same state and end up either going outside or in the corner by my bed…
anyways, can any of you tell the differences? I use to think that I didn't really have anxiety until my therapist told me that I did..