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What Have You Learned That Made You Feel Empowered

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BlackbirdSinging

MyPTSD Pro
Sometimes we hear something 99 times and logically we get it but, the rest of us just doesn't catch up. And then one day you hear that thing for the 100th time and boom the lights go on somebody's home and something once confusing makes sense. Maybe it was the way it was worded. Maybe it was the caffeine in your coffee. Maybe you took it in without thinking and it all fit together that time. What were your moments? What was it that you learned that made you feel empowered?

One day I was reading something about distorted thoughts when I came across this sentence that really resonated with me and made me feel empowered. It pretty much said that distorted thoughts are learned thoughts. Either someone taught it to you or you picked it up yourself while trying to cope. It went on to say that you can unlearn those thoughts. Ding. Lights on. I'm home and get out of my house. How many times had I heard comments about relearning or unbrainwashing? But, for some reason on that day it all came together. And I decided I was going to work my ass off to unlearn distorted thoughts and take my thinking back.
 
Good & interesting thread.

Many years ago so cant remember what book it was, but thoughts are merely a emotional plea which goes to your distorted thinking. So I got that I dont need to be controlled by my feelings. Atleast not all of the time... And that its possible to work on changing.

Also I read a book calle how to handle dificult people and that was like wowowow. I tested it out and bam my issues with dificult people ( exept my self hahah) has improved a whole lot in a sense that I rarely deal with such any more. I just cant be bothered.

Alice Miller and Simone de Beauviour also had great influence.

Other booms I had that been empowerment was like many years ago hen I where severly føkked up I decided not to stay at home having total breakdown but take my tears and it all and go for a long forest walk. On returning I wasnt føkked up anymore and it was like wow - really? From total destruction mood to total bliss?
 
Mine was recently.....something finally clicked into place...a poster has often said along the lines of..they mean nothing to me, so why should I care about their opinions/ thoughts. I have finally been able to ' hear ' the words of others but somehow not allow them to get to me emotionally as they don't matter....thanks @ Friday.....it's made a vast difference.
 
One thing for me was learning the distiction between toxic shame and healthy shame.
Still working on this one..I am not worthless. I am not worth LESS. Feel I am in the middle of this one as I don't always know how to handle being treated as if I am worthLESS. Work in progress.
I've learned to day NO and not explain myself. That was a BIG one.
Very good thread! Thanks for starting it.
 
My "t" had a sign in her office that said, "Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down", and I hated that sign for the longest time....I mean it pissed me off and really bugged me.

....until one day, she told me the story of the Eagle. The mother Eagle had to kick the babies out of the nest, risking their lives or they would never learn to fly and be free...then the light came on and it occurred to me that my therapist was like the mother Eagle teaching me to take the leap of faith on my own and fly.

I took that leap and flew for the first time in my life. I have loved that saying ever since!!
 
Learned something now from @ladee namely toxic shame - boom.

Also had a interesting conversation with a counsler today that is also into fitness industry here in Noway. She told me Im not the first to get destroyed as a trainer by the cynical fitness industry in this country that only wants us to provide them money, but dont care if we do a proper job for the clients.

Back to toxic shame - fits like hand into glove. I had severe toxic shame since I was last employed in the fitness industry. Thought I was worth less cause they told me so all to many times. It further built upon what I was told all those years I was in contact with "family" that Im a no good person that should be ashamed of thinking I am something and can do something and probably its best I stay under bed in utter shame of being some one like me.

Fact is I am well skilled and educated and profesional in my profesion. And I have qualities to bring into this world.
 
I think the most empowering thing was being able to stand up under and then overthrow the yoke of the abusive burden. I am chronologically an adult and am still coming to realize what this means. It is a base mindset, most often and not a "real" day to day debility. It might always be there though to lesser degrees. I can though self actualize and stand up under the things that matter/mean the most for myself now.
 
Interesting what you said @The Albatross about chronologically being an adult. I feel I have worn the mask as Adult as long as I can remember. But was always a scared inexperienced kid under the mask.
Realized reading your post that still in some situations I feel clueless how to handle myself. I go thru the motions from watching others But somewhere there is a disconnect.
I've had to stand up most of my life to keep from disappearing . But am now going to pay attention to what really happens when I stand up. Thanks
 
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