saraemerald
MyPTSD Pro
There are a variety of things that hold us back from truly healing and figuring out what it is, is essential.
Fear, shame, lack of support or lack of validation, an addiction, untrustworthy people, etc.
I personally found myself holding back my own recovery because I wanted someone to genuinely care about me before I recovered. I wanted love and for someone to be close to me and help me heal. I wanted to heal and was confident I could but I wanted someone to help me heal and to see my wounds. If my wounds were healed, there would be no one to see the wounds I once had. I also had magical thinking that held me back from healing and turned me into somewhat of a drama queen. I wanted a man to save me. I always waited naively for some knight in shining armor to come along and notice me and fall in love.
These things prevented me from fully embracing healing.
I needed validation and support. I also needed people in my life that would encourage me and support my choice of healing holistically as well as therapy. This, I did not have. This lead me to feeling misunderstood and unsupported and alone in my recovery. I healed myself to the best of my ability with what I knew and with therapy and then I sabotaged it.
EVERYONE needs support and if you have friends that don't support methods of recovery that you are comfortable with and that you have chosen for your recovery or they are disrespectful of your decisions or hold you back, FIND NEW FRIENDS.
There are many options out there available for recovery and many of them have been proven to help people heal PTSD symptoms, in the field of psychology and neuroscience. There's some pretty amazing research out there and different modes of support.
I also wanted to share the other thing that held me back that perhaps others can relate to.
Once I heal my symptoms, who am I and where do I go from here?
That's it? I'm OK now? What was the purpose of all the pain, the abuse as a child and then the truly painful PTSD symptoms where I feel like my body is going to snap, my jaw's so tight, my body is trembling, adrenaline is pumping through my body like crazy electricity, I can't breathe and I'm trying to hide my symptoms so I don't look like a freak!
So now my symptoms are gone and I should be happy but I'm like, um, this is cool. So I'm fine now. And my friends either can't even tell or they just don't care. So cool.
Fear, shame, lack of support or lack of validation, an addiction, untrustworthy people, etc.
I personally found myself holding back my own recovery because I wanted someone to genuinely care about me before I recovered. I wanted love and for someone to be close to me and help me heal. I wanted to heal and was confident I could but I wanted someone to help me heal and to see my wounds. If my wounds were healed, there would be no one to see the wounds I once had. I also had magical thinking that held me back from healing and turned me into somewhat of a drama queen. I wanted a man to save me. I always waited naively for some knight in shining armor to come along and notice me and fall in love.
These things prevented me from fully embracing healing.
I needed validation and support. I also needed people in my life that would encourage me and support my choice of healing holistically as well as therapy. This, I did not have. This lead me to feeling misunderstood and unsupported and alone in my recovery. I healed myself to the best of my ability with what I knew and with therapy and then I sabotaged it.
EVERYONE needs support and if you have friends that don't support methods of recovery that you are comfortable with and that you have chosen for your recovery or they are disrespectful of your decisions or hold you back, FIND NEW FRIENDS.
There are many options out there available for recovery and many of them have been proven to help people heal PTSD symptoms, in the field of psychology and neuroscience. There's some pretty amazing research out there and different modes of support.
I also wanted to share the other thing that held me back that perhaps others can relate to.
Once I heal my symptoms, who am I and where do I go from here?
That's it? I'm OK now? What was the purpose of all the pain, the abuse as a child and then the truly painful PTSD symptoms where I feel like my body is going to snap, my jaw's so tight, my body is trembling, adrenaline is pumping through my body like crazy electricity, I can't breathe and I'm trying to hide my symptoms so I don't look like a freak!
So now my symptoms are gone and I should be happy but I'm like, um, this is cool. So I'm fine now. And my friends either can't even tell or they just don't care. So cool.
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