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What Is Ptsd Like?

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zeropoint

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My mother is coming to visit. She arrives tomorrow, and the next day she is going to come to therapy with me (unless I change my mind).

One of the things that I want to try to communicate to her is that trauma is a very profound disruption of life. I really think she's mostly thought I just wasn't trying hard enough to be "normal." Or she thinks I should get over it, think happy thoughts, and move on. I realize, by the way, that she's far from the only person who thinks that way.

I think she might understand more if I could find a good way to compare PTSD to other things, or to point out in specific biological ways how it can change people. I might mention how trauma can change dna. I am not being specific about my own trauma, but I hope that you still have some ideas about how I might offer my mother a framework to view trauma in general.
 
Quote ........."I think she might understand more if I could find a good way to comparePTSD to other things,"

I think that will be the hardest thing you will have ever done, as comparing PTSD to some other ailment is almost impossible.

As it's not an illness in itself, that can be cured with a course of pills, or hours of therapy. It's so deep inside it's like part of your soul, it's a part of you as a person.

I've always said that the only people who can understand it, are the folk who suffer from it as well. The first therapist I ever saw, annoyed me so much, that I had to walk out of the session. She just kept nodding her head and saying,...."yes I know" when in truth, she never had a clue as to what it's really like.
 
^^ You're so right. My therapist and I talk a lot about top-down vs bottom-up thinking, how some thoughts and feelings will never respond to rational arguments. And I don't think there is a way to express that.
 
I really think she's mostly thought I just wasn't trying hard enough to be "normal." Or she thinks I should get over it, think happy thoughts, and move on.

I tried to do that from 1996 to 2013, and it didn't work. I read books and went to conferences and saw a few counselors with the purpose of trying to get better at being "normal", but it just doesn't work that way. Eventually the whole house of cards collapsed.

I think she might understand more if I could find a good way to compare PTSD to other things, or to point out in specific biological ways how it can change people.

Is it the amygdala that becomes inflamed? If it goes on long enough, there is actual brain damage from emotional/etc trauma.
 
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I am stealing that picture! I think it is near impossible for someone without PTSD to get it. I have tried to explain it to my husband in so many different ways. At times he seems to get it, other, not so much. As much as we want other people to get it, I try to be thankful for their sake that they don't get it. At the end of the day though, it doesn't change the fact that the lack of understanding is frustrating for everyone involved, suffer and supporter alike.

Hopefully your therapist can help her understand a little better. She may not "get it" but she may understand she needs to respond to you a little differently. I really think that if you don't find the thought too distressing, it really would be working having her go with you, especially if you have a good therapist.
 
I've just stolen that picture!
I think she might understand more if I could find a good way to compare PTSD to other things,
How about like trying to ride a frightened horse through a fourth of july parade, you as the rational rider have no way to stop it jumping, bucking and trying to bolt, every time it gets a fright. and it's the horse (your unconscious brain parts, your inner lizard - specifically, your right amygdala, it's a very old structure, it is very vigilant, but it is not intelligent and neither part of the conscious bit of the brain, nor under conscious control. What's more, your amygdala has been "on line" since about 5 or 6 months after you were conceived - recording stress from that time) that decides what is frightening, not your conscious and rational brain.

point out in specific biological ways how it can change people
Disregulated hypothalmus, piturity and adrenal axis
following from that, shrunken hippocampus - and problems with memory
When your right amygdala sounds its frequent alarms, it shut down of most of your cortex, stopping your ability to plan, cutting off access to most of your memories and ability to think creatively and even to speak. (check out Bessel van der Kolk's presentations at the NEA BPD conference on youtube, he shows brain scan results showing those effects).
During dissociation, your entire cortex can shut down.
Due to HPA axis dysregulation your body is flooded with stress hormones, causing all sorts of havoc, from heart disease and high blood pressure, to infertility, to polycystic ovaries and facial hair.
I'm not sure about plain vanilla PTSD, but for developmental trauma/ c-PTSD, as a group we can expect an average of 20 years shorter lifespan than the general population, and several times the incidence of auto immune disorders such as Crone's disease and ME.

Then again, if you want to get some practice in, you can always sing along with this:
 
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I watched a music clip about PTSD on you tube, I think it was sung by mickle back and it about somes it up for me
 
I might mention how trauma can change dna

Personally, the DNA bit sounds confusing. But trauma does dysregulate the nervous system...more specifically the autonomic nervous system...our body's system to stay balanced vs too high (hyper-arousal) or too low (shutdown in forms of depression and dissociation).. That's the brunt of it and there are all they symptoms we experience (and neuroscience) to prove it.

top-down vs bottom-up thinking, how some thoughts and feelings will never respond to rational arguments. And I don't think there is a way to express that.

There is a way, but it's through the body, not cognition. It's the work of body psychotherapy, or more specifically "bottom-up" approaches that address the nervous system (Somatic Experiencing, etc)
 
It steals your soul,
Takes it and shakes it up,
Cuts bits off it and throws them away,
Ties knots in other bits,
Drills holes in bits never to be filled back in,
Cuts slices into parts just to leave bleeding,
It just sits next to you and you never know who it is,
It takes your memory, spirit, life, confidence and anything else it feels like,
It has no rules,
It has never ending darkness that shadows you like a blanket
It is silent and makes no noise,
It's best friends are depression anxiety and paranoia
It doesn't like to leave you,
It is there for life, sometimes right next to you, sometimes just watching and waiting in the distance.
Just waiting
It has all the time on the world
 
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