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What Made You Angry Today?

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My therapist made me angry two days ago, and maybe even angrier by not answering my phone call yesterday. She just texted that we would talk today when we meet.

I think she actually did it on purpose and for my own good, because I usually can't react with anger (once a victim, always a victim). But today she will hear me out and I'm even thinking about not seeing her anymore.
 
Sitting in the mess of other peoples violence, bad choices, chaos and destructiveness- and getting no support from those people(my mother and my ex for one thing). And I get even more angry with my ex for continuing to be a stress-factor in my life with his abusive behaviors not being gone, only better controlled. - I get angry, because it all feels so unfair. I did not deserve all that. I still don't.
 
Angry that I still have difficulty getting out of the house. I know it is my responsibility but I really feel stuck at times. So now I'm mad at me.

My girls fighting again. Will they ever get along?

How old are they? My boys fought all the time when they were younger. Drove me crazy and worried that they would never be friends. Now they get along, even horsing around at times. Not sure they are friends just yet, but that is fine. I'm just glad the arguing is done. Hopefully for good. They are 14 and 17.

I am finding it really hard to be alive.

Coming off medications can exacerbate this. Might help to remind yourself of this. I have never had the feeling that you weren't capable of fighting whatever comes your way, despite how exhausting it can be. If anything you have been an inspiration to me. Keep doing what you have been doing. You'll get there again.
 
I am angry that I took time off yesterday.

I am angry I cried on someone on Friday. I could have made it out on Friday night but chose not to.

I am so angry at how things are for me right now.
 
How old are they?

They are 13 and 15 but they have special needs which don't help things. My older 2 (17 and 19) get along well. Hopefully it settles down because it really pushes all my buttons. I find it hard to stay positive when there is always fighting in the house. So I need to find a way not to let it get me angry.
 
Angry, but quietly angry with biting my lip, (lol).

And, with needing to work my arse off much of this day too, and under pressure, and not being otherwise simultaneously gently more available to others and/or free to just be and feel alive.
 
I worked with my second trauma therapist almost a year. She worked really hard to make me see I only was angry with myself. Than when I got angry the "adversarial third party" or "the abuser" took over the situation and used it as an advantage to hurt me some more. I remember her looking at me waiting for me to realize this. She told me I had taken "beating myself up" and made it into a kind of an art form.

I'm tired of hurting myself. Sometimes I like to try to justify getting angry. I have a right to get angry after all, depending on the situation? Right behind the anger is that voice, the one that's caused me so much pain. I'm careful about getting angry.

Yours,

FattyZ
 
I'm angry, if you can call it that, for a number of things. The septic keeps backing up because of all the rain and melting snow we've had, so showers and clothes washing is limited. That's okay, because the washer broke and it will be awhile before it gets fixed. Oh, because of all the rain/septic, our sink in the upstairs bathroom(as well as the tub) has slow draining. My son, last night, turned the water on for our cat and forgot about it. The sink overflowed and it was so much that it seeped through my ceiling onto my other son's bed.

Other than that, it's been a great three weeks or so. :mad:

FattyZ, yes you have a right to get angry at someone or something other than yourself. I struggle from this too. I think, though, recognizing the issue you have is one step toward fixing it. It took me a long time to realize it was alright to be justifiably angry. Not turning it inward is still difficult, and I find myself continuously working on it.
 
My ex-boyfriend called me and started mouthing off, complaining about a good friend of mine and wanted me to pass a message to her.

I texted her and let her know a tiny bit of it, not at all passing on all the tripe.

She texted me back and told me that she wanted no further contact with him and to tell him that.

I hate being the monkey in the middle, so I did not pass along her message. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want any further contact with him either, but she has not been feeling well, so I left it alone.
 
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