D
Deleted member 487
Recent events brought back memories of a situation that caused a lot of anger and hatred in my family against me. I stand a fair chance of meeting those family members again, and though I know what I did was right, I'm wondering what others would do under the same circumstances. I don't know how to explain this without disclosing facts, so please understand my errors.
March, 1995: You are living in "X" town in "B" state, you go to church and have a discussion regarding heritage with other church members. In the discussion one family mentions they are from "D" town in "A" state and their kids went to "Q" school in which it turns out a close family member is staff. In the discussion you learn of a frightening allegation- trading sex with minors for grades. The family member is a distant but still close one, and you respect them a lot. So you talk to your grandfather and ask his opinion, and he responds "don't believe it". So you brush it "under the rug".
July, 1995: You are now living in "Z" town still in "B" state, 165 miles from "X" town. Same situation, same issue, except a different student that as it turns out doesn't know the other former student. Same exact allegation.
What would you do?
What did I do? First time I called my grandfather and discussed it with him. We agreed that the family member is far better than that and would never trade sex with minors for grades. Sex with minors for grades? Yep, that's when a young girl that's getting poor grades offers a sexual act to the teacher for either help or change in grades. I think we've all seen that before. Now, we have a second former student. Same religious faith as I (back then anyways), same allegation, and the same teacher. Except it's four months later and 165 miles apart. And the girls claim they don't know one another. Logic prevails- under these circumstances the odds are already "playing tight"-
1. the chance I'd ever meet two separate students in two separate towns
2. that know the family member
3. that attended that school
4. that claim they don't know one another
5. and that have the very same allegation
6. AND that are of the same faith as myself?
What would you do????
After the second allegation, I asked a few additional questions and then discussed it with the school district. I have no knowledge of what happened after that initial report. I never asked. I stayed out of it. But ever since, the family member has had a serious dislike for me. Fine by me, I feel I did what was right.
March, 1995: You are living in "X" town in "B" state, you go to church and have a discussion regarding heritage with other church members. In the discussion one family mentions they are from "D" town in "A" state and their kids went to "Q" school in which it turns out a close family member is staff. In the discussion you learn of a frightening allegation- trading sex with minors for grades. The family member is a distant but still close one, and you respect them a lot. So you talk to your grandfather and ask his opinion, and he responds "don't believe it". So you brush it "under the rug".
July, 1995: You are now living in "Z" town still in "B" state, 165 miles from "X" town. Same situation, same issue, except a different student that as it turns out doesn't know the other former student. Same exact allegation.
What would you do?
What did I do? First time I called my grandfather and discussed it with him. We agreed that the family member is far better than that and would never trade sex with minors for grades. Sex with minors for grades? Yep, that's when a young girl that's getting poor grades offers a sexual act to the teacher for either help or change in grades. I think we've all seen that before. Now, we have a second former student. Same religious faith as I (back then anyways), same allegation, and the same teacher. Except it's four months later and 165 miles apart. And the girls claim they don't know one another. Logic prevails- under these circumstances the odds are already "playing tight"-
1. the chance I'd ever meet two separate students in two separate towns
2. that know the family member
3. that attended that school
4. that claim they don't know one another
5. and that have the very same allegation
6. AND that are of the same faith as myself?
What would you do????
After the second allegation, I asked a few additional questions and then discussed it with the school district. I have no knowledge of what happened after that initial report. I never asked. I stayed out of it. But ever since, the family member has had a serious dislike for me. Fine by me, I feel I did what was right.