barefoot
MyPTSD Pro
I've always thought that I've never had a flashback.
But in my therapy session last week, my therapist referred to an experience I described to her last year as being a flashback. When I first told her about the experience, she said it sounded like "a regressive experience." And last week she referred to it as a flashback.
I've been doing some online research since and a few things I've read have got me wondering whether I have had flashbacks a few times in therapy sessions. My therapist has referred to those times as me having "episodes" and I have never really known what to call them. They generally include dissociation and I can't feel my body so can't stand up and sometimes I have shaken violently for an hour and other times I have ended up standing with my nose and toes touching the wall.
When I've had these experiences in therapy, I have generally been confused and disorientated. I think I know I am with my therapist and in her room. But my understanding of that feels rather foggy, because I feel so disorientated and confused. I also have a hard time feeling my body's boundaries. So I'm not really aware of where my "edges" are, if that makes sense? It just feels like I (my body) is just merging with my surroundings. Which I think is maybe why I sometimes go to touch her wall if I'm getting overwhelmed and finding it difficult to stay fully present - I think the wall provides some kind of tangeable boundary/containment?
Sometimes when I have dissociated there, my head has been completely gone and I am just numbed out, no thoughts, no feelings. Othertimes, there has been a lot going on...I think I have got flooded/overwhelmed emotionally though I can't necessarily identify what the feelings are and I just feel sort of lost in the intense heaviness of those feelings. They feel all-encompassing and I feel kind of frozen in them. I think I am maybe feeling feelings that belong in the past. But, as I said, I think I do realise to some extent that I'm sitting with my therapist in her room. So, if I'm feeling old feelings and feel quite lost in them and am not feeling grounded and fully present but I sort of know I'm in my therapy room with my therapist...?
I now feel a bit confused about what's been happening when I've had these sorts of experiences.
On the one hand I think it probably doesn't matter whether my therapist calls something a flashback or a regressive experience or whether we refer to me being triggered or whatever. On the other hand, I kind of want to know what's going on, so that then I can try to understand it and manage it better.
I will ask my therapist about it but I still have another week before I see her again.
One of the things I'm confused about is what the difference is between having a flashback, having intrusive thoughts and being triggered. Can anyone shed any light? How do you experience these things?
Thanks!
But in my therapy session last week, my therapist referred to an experience I described to her last year as being a flashback. When I first told her about the experience, she said it sounded like "a regressive experience." And last week she referred to it as a flashback.
I've been doing some online research since and a few things I've read have got me wondering whether I have had flashbacks a few times in therapy sessions. My therapist has referred to those times as me having "episodes" and I have never really known what to call them. They generally include dissociation and I can't feel my body so can't stand up and sometimes I have shaken violently for an hour and other times I have ended up standing with my nose and toes touching the wall.
When I've had these experiences in therapy, I have generally been confused and disorientated. I think I know I am with my therapist and in her room. But my understanding of that feels rather foggy, because I feel so disorientated and confused. I also have a hard time feeling my body's boundaries. So I'm not really aware of where my "edges" are, if that makes sense? It just feels like I (my body) is just merging with my surroundings. Which I think is maybe why I sometimes go to touch her wall if I'm getting overwhelmed and finding it difficult to stay fully present - I think the wall provides some kind of tangeable boundary/containment?
Sometimes when I have dissociated there, my head has been completely gone and I am just numbed out, no thoughts, no feelings. Othertimes, there has been a lot going on...I think I have got flooded/overwhelmed emotionally though I can't necessarily identify what the feelings are and I just feel sort of lost in the intense heaviness of those feelings. They feel all-encompassing and I feel kind of frozen in them. I think I am maybe feeling feelings that belong in the past. But, as I said, I think I do realise to some extent that I'm sitting with my therapist in her room. So, if I'm feeling old feelings and feel quite lost in them and am not feeling grounded and fully present but I sort of know I'm in my therapy room with my therapist...?
I now feel a bit confused about what's been happening when I've had these sorts of experiences.
On the one hand I think it probably doesn't matter whether my therapist calls something a flashback or a regressive experience or whether we refer to me being triggered or whatever. On the other hand, I kind of want to know what's going on, so that then I can try to understand it and manage it better.
I will ask my therapist about it but I still have another week before I see her again.
One of the things I'm confused about is what the difference is between having a flashback, having intrusive thoughts and being triggered. Can anyone shed any light? How do you experience these things?
Thanks!