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When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

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ms spock

MyPTSD Pro
I am struggling with grounding. There are many reasons that I find grounding myself really hard. One is that I have no practising skills of grounding.

When I get grounded I often feel overwhelmed by feelings. One set of pretty overwhelmed feelings that grounding leaves me with is being flooded with the bodily sensations of being raped feelings.

It is a really hard one for me, and it is why going to bed brings up some really strong feelings of fear before going to bed.

Avoiding the feeling raped feelings leads me to binge eating or comfort eating at night.

The shame of being raped is pretty strong as well. So nightmares at night are a common feature, waking up with panic or high anxiety is a feature of my sleep. Sleep is a continual negotiation and a constant management issues.

I relate to this song a lot Caleb Meyer - Gillian Welch & David Rawlings

Has anyone found a way of managing this?
 
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I have found success with labeling thoughts and using coping/comforting thoughts.
I like saying, "There is that feeling again. It is a body sensation."
I don't know if you can try physically grounding things like a weighted blanket or using a sand bag that they sell at yoga stores.
You can try a fan or water bottle full of ice. Or even a heating pad. You can try progressive muscle relaxation. Or just breathing out for longer than in.
For me grounding can be triggering, but if I do physical actions that helps. I don't have to give much thought to it.
Would these things be triggering?
 
A good way, no not yet, overeating is what I tend to turn to x
I am trying to combat it somewhat by practising what Pema Chodron says - drop the story and go to the body. Ie do my best to ignore any thoughts going through my brain and intensely focus on sensations I'm my body.

But it's so hard.

So I do repeatedly return to overeating or similar.

I posted a link to a thread in your diary where I think ppl are talking about similar difficulties... x
 
When I get grounded I often feel overwhelmed by feelings. One set of pretty overwhelmed feelings that grounding leaves me with is being flooded with the bodily sensations of being raped feelings. I

Trying to understand a bit better :

If you're kicking into flashbacks, that doesn't sound like you're grounded, but still in a dissociated state? Like you have to pass through this layer of awful in order to get to being grounded, so it's the actual process of grounding itself that you're getting stuck in (or bouncing back to a higher level of disassociated)?

Or

Are you able to ground out in the here and now for a short time, then the emotional flooding is kicking you back into a dissociated state?
 
I don't know @Friday. It is also nebulous for me that even the distinctions that you are making are almost beyond me. So I guess that means I might have a serious issue in grounding or being grounded, but the thing is as states change I can't alway connect with the other ways that I am being. I am pretty disconnected, much better than I was, but disconnected.

I related to this song a bit Caleb Meyer - Gillian Welch & David Rawlings

Even trying to think about it I really feel lonely and lost, and not quite here.
 
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At risk of sounding pretty "hippy out there", have you tried grounding by connecting your awareness into the earth? I send down a cord or pillar of coloured light (pick a colour, any colour) down into the centre from my sacrum/base chakra, down into the core of earth and imaging anchoring/rooting into the core and then bring that energy up into my energy/chakric system, into my body. I feel the earth's energy mingle with mine as an "Earth Mother" nurturing experience.

I don't know what to say about the rape stuff though, I was and am still totally dissociated to and from the rape experiences that I've had. I think I need lots of therapy to connect with that (but am dreading doing so).

I am sending you support and empathy though, I hope this horribleness eases up soon.

BTW, that song was amazing, incredible musicians, awesome performance, thank you for the link.:-)
 
Grounding for me is mostly about bringing my awareness to what’s going on around me, rather than just bringing my focus to the “right now” in a more general sense.

If I bring my mind to “right now”? My mind can go haywire, noticing things like body sensations and emotions and thoughts that could not just be distressing, but also initiate more dissociation, which is what I’m trying to stop.

If I bring my mind to the “right now world around me”? My focus goes to things outside my brain and body. That’s what I ground with. Am I noticing the colour of the sky? Am I noticing where I? Am I noticing the people around me? What is the time/day? What am I doing with my hands right now (washing the dishes etc)?

There’s always the constant pull to get swept away in my thoughts, emotions and body sensations. That’s not what I aim for when I’m grounding. It’s too intense.
 
I think that my situation is complicated by the fact that I don't really know what "feeling grounded" feels like.

All the responses in this thread are very helpful. I appreciate them. I am very overwhelmed and triggered at the moment. I am getting 3-4 hours of sleep per night at the moment, and the anxiety and/or panic is very high.

Please keep giving me your ideas. They are great. Much appreciated.

Sarah Jarosz - House of Mercy (Live on The Current) I need to not to go into cascading into spiralling downwards when I get tripped up on attachment/loss of family stuff/other triggering things/unknown men coming into my space. And I have a shit time of it. I am really having an atrocious time of time now. So many things have happened, a non PTSD person who have trouble negotiating. Those pesky flashbacks can knock on my door but I am going to get to a point of not answering it anymore.

Gillian Welch - Hard Times
 
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I am struggling with grounding. There are many reasons that I find grounding myself really h...
My understanding is this:

Grounding is a tool, or the intended outcome of using tools, that counteracts dissociation and flashbacks. The purpose of grounding is to get to the here and now - away from the trauma time and away from the dissociative phenomena like derealization or depersonalization.

However, dissociative states like d/d are ways of keeping flashback'y stuff away from the consciousness. If a person is triggered and starting to flash back to some traumatic stuff, their mind can resort to depersonalization/derealization to keep that thing at bay. Then, when you're in this kind of a situation, if you start chipping away the dissociation (by grounding) you may end up in those very flashbacks the d/d was keeping away.

Again, grounding is a tool to bring you to the present moment, so, theoretically, doing some more grounding should make those flashbacks go away, but in my experience? No such luck. Usually I'm too overwhelmed by all that sh*t. I just have to try to minimize the damage.
 
It's kind of silly but I go thru my calendar as a way to ground.

Today is Nov 12,2017 and I was at ( address) and did blah blah. On Monday Nov 13 2017 I will be .. (At address) then I will do ( whatever) at (whatever time) ......and repeat. If I don't have anywhere to go I fill in with stuff at the house. I am at (address) At noon I will eat lunch. Then at 7pm I will watch this tv show. Then at 8pm I will brush the dog. And so on for the rest of the week

I'm not sure why it works ...but it's been pretty effective. The other is the 5 4321. 5 things you see. 4 things you see. 3 things you see..And so on. Then you repeat with hear and touch
 
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