frustrated
Anthony.. I got the stupid question of the day.. My shrink makes me talk about the shooting death of my officer, his name is Ron.. I hate referring to him as 'my friend' or 'my officer'.. still in denial? I've talked about the incident, about him, about whether or not he would blame me, the way I blame myself. I know he wouldn't blame me.. I know it wasn't my fault.. I know these things happen.. blah blah blah. Obviously I still have issues.. I'm married to a Police Sgt.. I cant get away from that pain.. its there every single day.. I want to get as far away from Police/Fire/Medical work as possible.. after my 'breakdown', I took time off from work. I was protected by the Family Medical Leave Act. but as soon as the time was exhausted, I was terminated. Between the hurt and anger I feel about them firing me after I served them loyally all of those years, & the funk I'm in just being around a cop all the time.. I cant do it anymore. I a new life!! So the stupid question : I'm forced to, and think I've 'accepted' Ron's death, why do I have to keep going and talking about him??? (boy, if that wasn't babbling.)
Anthony.. I got the stupid question of the day.. My shrink makes me talk about the shooting death of my officer, his name is Ron.. I hate referring to him as 'my friend' or 'my officer'.. still in denial? I've talked about the incident, about him, about whether or not he would blame me, the way I blame myself. I know he wouldn't blame me.. I know it wasn't my fault.. I know these things happen.. blah blah blah. Obviously I still have issues.. I'm married to a Police Sgt.. I cant get away from that pain.. its there every single day.. I want to get as far away from Police/Fire/Medical work as possible.. after my 'breakdown', I took time off from work. I was protected by the Family Medical Leave Act. but as soon as the time was exhausted, I was terminated. Between the hurt and anger I feel about them firing me after I served them loyally all of those years, & the funk I'm in just being around a cop all the time.. I cant do it anymore. I a new life!! So the stupid question : I'm forced to, and think I've 'accepted' Ron's death, why do I have to keep going and talking about him??? (boy, if that wasn't babbling.)