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When your family relationships stay full of games

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by WhiteHatGirl, Dec 5, 2017.

  1. WhiteHatGirl

    WhiteHatGirl Active Member

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    I bet most people who are in this forum would identify.

    The joke is that there are elephants in the middle of the room people cannot talk about.

    Well my family is like that. I can only talk about the weather with certain people.

    I also think I react badly to my in law who has anxiety issues that come off as super domineering. They have power over when I stay in their house because I have no where else to go.

    But they likely keep telling their spouse to get rid of me as fast as they can. So of course I'm aware of the two faced game of, "I like my wife's family, I hate my wife's family."

    TRUST ME I WOULD LIVE anywhere else that was safe and decent if I could.

    I just get to live with mounting pressure to leave from my relative because they are being pushed more and more to get completely rid of me.....then this pressure can turn into passive aggressive games, and then sly insults, then direct insults. (Did I say I have that family that simply doesn't believe I have any kind of health conditions?)

    And I just applied for the second time for SSDI and SSI. The pressurer person makes everyone PRETEND they have great health, even I they have a knock down overwhelming flue/cold, need surgery etc...

    This denial of illness is really a soul crusher in some instances with people who cannot control anxiety that well at times with triggers all around, etc...
     
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  3. joeylittle

    joeylittle ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ All howl, no bite Administrator Generous $250+

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    Do you know that they do this, or are you guessing that they do?
     
  4. Mach123

    Mach123 Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

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    This is very funny and interesting (probably not to you) and I am thinking my way through a long post on the subject. Needling. (or game playing or trying to influence others) Do you have anyone and you are like heading over there and you think "no matter what they say I'm not going to start shouting the f bomb at full volume." Which means you probably are lol, if you are thinking like that you are probably already about to explode by the time you walk in there. They are needling you (or you perceive they are) and you probably are needling them too (or they perceive you are) but that is another subject. I've come to the conclusion you have to be very aware of this when you are talking to people but especially other trauma people (whatever that means) and or family members.
     
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