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Poll Who Do You Let Close?

Who Do You Let Close? Check All That Apply!


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I don't let anybody close. People becoming close, or acting like they want to get to know me better, is something which increases my anxiety rapidly. There are certain phrases that are quite normal in closer relationships, that are triggers for me, because of the context they have been used in previously.

I am better with people when there is a professional capacity to the relationship. It somehow gives a valid reason for them being there - they are there because they are paid, rather than out of a desire to get close to me.
 
I have quite a lot of friends that I've known for years, but nobody knows exactly what I'm struggling with. Most of them don't know anything. My parents know about my eating disorder and depression, but have no clue about the PTSD or the fact that I've been traumatised. I don't tell anyone because I like being treated like a normal person, instead of a fragile little girl.

At the moment I'm even keeping my therapist at arms length, because last time I saw her (2 months ago) I told her I was fine (which I thought I was at the time). Now I feel like crap, but I'm too ashamed to ask for help.
 
I probably let my T in the most because I do trust her so much. And I have a couple of friends who have been through a lot and "get it"more than anyone else but even they don't get all of me because I have trust issues.

Because my trauma was so public a lot of people think they know what's going on with me but if I brought up PTSD with them they'd look at me like a 2 headed monster so I just let them think what they want, family members included.
 
My therapist knows everything about me, we have formed a long standing friendship after 20 plus years. We have an unusual relationship and go for walks in the park or out for coffee to talk. With multiple traumas over the years he has always been there for me. Mainly I use him more as a sounding board to bounce my feelings and thoughts off.

A few of my family members I trust, including two of my children. Luckily I have 3 or 4 very good friends who except me the way I am, either at my best or worst. Mustn't forget the people on this forum, where it's a lot easier as it's mainly not a face to face relationship. As for the rest, I don't care. It's not their business and some things are very private. People who don't suffer from mental illness in general freak out and there is still a social stigma attached.
 
I ticked "therapist", "established friends", "spouse/partner" and "other".

Sometimes I'll let some new friends close. I've noticed that unfortunately those are those who resemble my abusers very much (friendly at first, seemingly "like me", they and I seem to "fit") and so I let them in and close fairly early-on. I have learned to let them go later, fairly soon now. But I still let them in. Work in progress.

Same applies to some strangers, for the same reason, them feeling like close family. As soon as I notice they're not good for me, I'll let them go.

"Other" as in: e.g. my good friend's mother, my god children, children in general, my care taker, my self-help group on a group-basis, and individuals from my self-help group outside of group.

Generally those I trust. Sometimes though I trust without them giving me reason to. As said, work in progress.
 
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