I was supposed to go to a funeral today, school was a half day, because the funeral was there. i was going to just change from my uniform and go, but as the day wore on, i was getting shakier and shakier. the funeral was for a past acquaintance, never really what i would call friends, but friendly. i never got so shakey because of something like this before. it has nothing to do with any of my trauma, so i don't quite understand. i went to the funeral home last nite for the viewing, and i noticed then it was bothering me some. (there were a lot of people i did not know) so we said our condolences and left. i decided not to go because i wasn't sure if i could take it. i already have therapy tonight, and it always just wipes me out any way. maybe this is dumb, i am beginning to see that i have a very curious mind, want to know the why of everything, when it makes no difference anyway.