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Why Do Kids Have to Know About PTSD? - Maybe More a Vent

Discussion in 'Social' started by permban0077, Jan 10, 2007.

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  1. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    I had such a crash yesterday. My youngest just turned 3 a month ago. Me going through the nasty of the nastiest. I got up last night after finally some rest but up all night. My little one comes in when she woke up and I was watching TV. She asks are you still sick momma? I said no. She says you still look sick. Yes, I do look like hammered shit at this point.

    I said but I am feeling better. She said your tummy was sick. Goes on your heart is sick, your head is sick. She proceeds to go get her own pop tart out without asking... A 3 yo just went and got her own breakfast since dad is asleep. She did not ask me for help, but wanted to know how I was. How sad is that?

    I kept telling her I will be OK, I am momma, momma always gets better. 3 yo should not think of momma first, but herself! So yeah a bit pissy about that with myself.

    She knew to say heart as I get the chest pains, head as I get so dizzy, stomace as well I am in the bathroom hurling and praying just one end please. But no matter how little our kids are they see it and get it.

    My other 3. The younger boy about to be 9 knows something bad happened to momma and she gets sick. My oldest, my teen son read up on PTSD and knows most of what happened and is an angel trying to be a good kid and support me and help. The teen girl, well y'all know about her. She read up on it too and knew most of what happened and did all she could to torture me and make symptoms flare up so I would permit her to move out. It worked.

    Geesh PTSD and parenting is so hard, especially when the kids think they need to help no matter how little they are and they know things are not right. No matter how little your kids are do not think they do not have a clue what is up.

    My 3 yo even said last week my brain broke. (she is bright and already writing words so she is sharp about a lot) But she knows what a brain is just not the entire dynamics. She said mine broke... But the part that made me laugh, she said it is OK, I can use hers LOL.
     
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  3. Scott_Fraser

    Scott_Fraser Well-Known Member

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    Hi there.
    I think that it is best to be honest to your 3 year old. Tell her what happened and why. Just be honest.
    I have 2 young boys Callum 10 and Cameron 9. A couple of months ago my youngest, Cameron asked why dad always has a sore head (I suffer from Combat Stress). So I sat him down and told him everything that happened to me and why I suffer from Combat Stress. After I had told him, he was very sad for a few hours but after that he was ok. My eldest boy Callum suffers from Dyspraxia or Clumsy Child Syndrom, and I felt that he was not ready to be told yet. One day I will tell him when I feel that he will understand better.
    Being Scottish I am very honest about things, I say what I think.
    What is your name?
    Take care
    Scott:hello:
     
  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Scott, I am veiled, and for my own reasons... Subnic is obvious. You would have to go dive in my diary to understand there is no way in hell I would tell my 3 yo or 9 yo why I am ill. No reason to fk up their childhood, somethings should be kept as innocent as they should. I was robbed of mine and would never do the same. Teens seem to be as soon as the kids can hang here and it is still hard. I could never tell my kids my whole life. I might as well sit them in front of gory movies to help them sleep instead of a night light.
     
  5. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    Veiled, you know I have little ones. It seems your little one knows the difference between being "sick" and being "ptsd" sick. My kids don't know the difference. They just know that when I'm sick, I'm in bed. I don't get up to do much of anything. They know to watch tv most of the day and to not bother mommy unless hungry or need to wipe poopy butt. My oldest daughter two years ago (she would be just 2 years old), would get into the pantry and get herself a granola bar and try to open it for breakfast. Sometimes she could, other times she couldn't and would ask me for help. "Eat mama." Those are very humbling moments to say the least. The worst part is that sometimes I'd be upset at her for asking.

    Being a mother is hard. Trying to be the best mom ever while having PTSD is nearly impossible. One thing that you have taught your daughter is compassion. She already shows it to you. She knows that she is feeling better than mama, so try to do things herself without asking mama for help. Very smart child. I think I would borrow her brain if she lend it to me...LOL.

    My kids only know that mama gets sick sometimes. They have no idea what it is. I say keep it at that until they ask more. Someday, when adults, you may want to tell them the censored version if you want to. I haven't made up my mind on that and I have plenty of time to decide.
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    How cute... don't you just love that innocense children present us with...
     
  7. hannah

    hannah Active Member

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    yes - I feel an ignorant statement here - but children need looking after and if one is aware one is incapable surley steps should be taken to implement priorities - sorry but a 3 year old and a hot pop tart is a recipe for disaster. I wish I could help the dependents of this ptsd thing but I find that is scary. sorry if this offends.
     
  8. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

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    Not everyone eats a poptart hot. My kids like it right out of the package.
     
  9. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    Uhh.. her dad was in the next room. Hmmm if really needed all I had to do was yell his name. And in another post around here it was already said when her dad returns to work after we adjust to our move she is to go to daycare until grandma retires in a few months. But that is for me not her, I managed but it was too much on my plate. That aside... And she may be 3 and able to open the lazy susan (cabinet that swings in a circle) and fish out a pop tart she does not have the stature to stand counter high and use the toaster. We are in the group of unheated poptarts. If I heat one she insists it be put in the damn freezer any way.

    Like it or not people with PTSD have kids. Peole with PTSD have crash days when triggered. I was fully capable at the time to do it myself as my crash was the day before but she just did it herself. I am happy she is independent and does like to do for herself. I also like she is thoughtful and warm and so innocent.

    Not sure how my post reflected my kids are unsupervised and running wild. I think the proof is in the pudding with 3 out of 4 kids doing as well as possible, nurturing souls, very intelligent, and have morals. Hell, if I am managing that with PTSD I am doing pretty damn well. If I did not have it well I guess I would have to strap capes on those little superkids they could be. But with the teen boy scheduled to start reicieving college credits while he is in high school... His younger bro even sharper on the same track, and little sis just turning 3 can write a little and do simple math. Don't think I will knock my parenting quite yet. The teen girl... OK... cannot win them all but hope she will flourish in to what she can be where she is now with her dad. She is just as sharp as them, she read up enough on PTSD to make sure she could trigger me and force a move with her dad like she wanted.

    Raised them all with PTSD the entire time and not being June Cleaver. Without it they would be cold uncaring children, if anthing they are better for me having this as they were taught and still learning one thing I was not, compassion. My proudest achievment is they have compassion, I was raised to be a cold hearted bitch to claw my way to the top and everything is a fight. Being on top is lonely.
     
  10. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Many of us have kids and have managed just fine.. however here lies the problem.. what steps should be taken? who is going to help? where is the funding going to come from? or is the solution shove all of our kids in foster care since there are NO resources? do you have any idea's for solutions that are viable? *this i would like to know as it's an issue everywhere*

    bec
     
  11. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

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    And yes, I will admit the post got my panties in a twist... I could go back and fix all my typos but why bother? Big surprise, it is another symptom misspelling. But that is OK I am learning again with my lil' angel :)

    I would have more concern over the kids I saw on the news out here... Mom on meth, 3 yo running on interstate (and people did not stop, normal sane people just called it in and not stop (and I am nuts?) and the baby they found covered in crap (I mean really covered in it and sagging diaper of it) eating off the floor... Druggies' kids I would have more concern for, alot of us are over protective due to PTSD, not neglectful. Is a mom or dad bad if in a wheel chair and cannot do it all? Their child shows concern when the parent has a bad day?

    Thing is it was my original post and we go out of our way not to judge here so people can be open, had it not been my post I would have removed this thread period after that. But being it is my original post I think it is good to see how *some* people without PTSD see us as as far as parenting. Oh not up for mom of the year... Anyone else? Don't catch the flu... you might be considered bad if you spend your day puking and cannot move but still try to care for your kid.
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    I must agree with you veiled, in that there are bigger concerns with children than that of a parent with PTSD. There are people outright neglecting their children... and from what I see above, nothing outside of normal parenting.
     
  13. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

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    I really admire all of you who have children... I can't imagine having any. I'm scared I'll do something like my dad.
     
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