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Words of encouragement and support

Discussion in 'Supporter Relationships' started by Brturner13, Feb 13, 2018.

  1. Brturner13

    Brturner13 Member

    Just curious

    What words of encouragement and support have you given your sufferer when they have isolated or shut down? I know not all sufferers want to communicate, but if you ever so often wanted to show support what have you told them?
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  3. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

    One of the most supportive things can be, “I’ll respect your boundaries and need for space. I care a lot about you. Let me know when you are ready to connect again.”
  4. Brturner13

    Brturner13 Member

    @Justmehere love that!! Thank you!! my vet shut down on me Friday out of nowhere. I'm at a loss and thinking maybe we had too much emotions going on lately from me. I have sent a few emotional texts making it more about me when I shouldn't. I won't send anymore and will give him space and time. I just want to be better prepared this time and send something not about me and more about supporting him.
    Freida and Justmehere like this.
  5. Sweetpea76

    Sweetpea76 Semper ubi sub ubi. Moderator Donated

    I wouldn't send him anything right now, except maybe a text saying that you'll give him a little space and that you'll be there when he wants to talk. If he's not answering texts, having them pile up on him is going to make it worse.
  6. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

    Yeah, continuing to text someone who has shut down is likely to only increase the overwhelm.

    As a sufferer, a simple one time message from a supporter that they care and they’ll give me space and time - this can help me a lot when I’m shut down.

    As a sufferer, once I regroup and I’m engaging someone, then that’s a good time for more words of encouragement. Wait until then.

    Use this time to work on what’s up for you and building up a support network of your own. My best supporters are people I know have other supports when I can’t be there for them. It helps us both not sink when things get hard.
    Freida and EveHarrington like this.
  7. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    See you when you get back

    Seriously . It's what hubby says to me...And it works because it reminds me that HE will be there when I come out
    Brturner13 and Justmehere like this.
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