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Relationship Wtf Just Happened?

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caligirl03

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My bf and I had a counseling appointment today but both confused the time and missed our slot. As soon as I was made aware of this by our T, I immediately called my bf informing him before he made the 20 or so minute to where I live.

He sounded irked but said, Ok, what should we do? And I said, Well, I'm still up for hanging out if you are. I can meet you somewhere or just come up there, especially since you come down here fairly often. He said, What, like at a restaurant? I don't want to go hang out at a restaurant, that's so f*cking stupid, sounding increasingly pissed off. So I said (starting to feel agitated/hurt myself) Well like I said, I can come over, but I'm starving so I'm going to go grab food first. He said, Yeah, me too. I said, Ok, well let me know when you'll be there, I don't want to get there when you're not home (probably sounding increasingly agitated). He said, Let me get back to you. I said, Ok bye (rather quickly). He called me back a couple minutes later, and I said, Look, for whatever reason stuff is obviously charged right now, so I think it's best we don't talk right now. And he said, Ok bye in the same fashion I did and hung up the phone.

Now I'm just reeling, wondering how a seemingly benign conversation turned nasty and so fast.
 
My bf and I had a counseling appointment today but both confused the time and missed our slot. As so...
I'm sorry you day is going so badly. What made you decide to go to couples counseling? How long have you been going as a couple? How often?
I don't know why things took such a bad turn. There are some things you might want to think about. How have the sessions been going, what did you talk about during the sessions? How did you feel after the sessions? Did the sessions lead to more in depth conversations after or did you go into a "normal" mode like the session never happened?
Whatever happened p, you know you forgot or did you? Did he? Were you possibly waiting to see if he remembered? Only your boyfriend knows what he was thinking and feeling so one thing I can suggest is to focus on you and figure you out.
Maybe he has called back by now and you both are in a good place. Life is very unpredictable.
I hope things work out for you.

Peace

Alice
 
I've been there, reasonable conversations suddenly become here's a list of reasons why you suck and why you're the problem, slathered with a little more aggression followed by her then deciding I am stressing her out completed with avoidance and silence.

Escalation is a big thing I have noticed, I've gone from the one thing that's stable in her life and she can't be without to somebody she barely speaks to, is always somehow the bad guy and sliced out of her life.

I'm sorry to happening to you, it's horrible and it's awful when things just go from zero to maximum out of nowhere.
 
He may have looking forward to the counseling session and had a list of things he wanted to discuss. he might not have know how to express his disappointment about it.

That is just one of many possibilities, but no one here knows the answer for sure, you just have to ask him.
 
wondering how a seemingly benign conversation turned nasty and so fast

Because its flamin' annoying having to wait another week or two for your appointment.

when you've had this particular session on your mind, you've got stuff you need to purge and stuff you want to ignore. and you're trying not to forget it or miss it. then you realise you've missed it and you feel like a failure. THEN you remember all the stuff you needed to bring up, it's close to the surface, and you realise you have to swallow it again. it's like swallowing vomit. :sick:
So you've got someone in your ear chattering on about coming to visit you. you realise you have to change from being hurt, confused and ticked-off to someone casual, relaxed and fun to be around. your afraid they want to eat with you.
but all you have inside you is putrid foul-smelling rot.

Does that explain it a little? :O_o:
 
Hahahaha! Sorry but every second conversation I have with my vet seems to go like this. I think it just reflects how close to overflowing his stress cup is at the time. Understanding it intellectually doesn't make it hurt any less emotionally. Hugs @caligirl03 if you accept them.
 
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