Truth Uncovered

[whynotme]

Lies! Lies! Deceit!! How could this be true? I have attachment issues with people due to my past and this just proves my point....

I began talking with someone who I will refer to as liar here on out....

We talked for awhile and he disclosed the fact that he had PTSD and caused from anxiety and combat....I could totally relate to him on many levels....until I found out all of UNTRUE!!! NO PTSD AT ALL!! WTF!! why make up all these stories and take what you want from someone and try to act as if you ever had it! I know all about it believe me

Chest so tight I cant breathe palms sweaty

The feeling that the something I have dreaded loved and feared all at the same time is going to walk in and do it all over again the feelings of I do not want to face the world today and endless tears that feel as if they will never stop and I want to scream and run and sometimes I want to feel the hurt again just so I know I am alive..then it happened Liar took all I had to give and then nothing.....for hours days I feel so numb......take take take. When will someone give...this has left me reeling in my own thoughts again and dead to emotions once again.....used in the WORST way and to lie about it to get close to me and I was STUPID! NEVER AGAIN!! I WANT TO FORGET! MY SELF WORTH IS NOW GONE!! I AM NOTHING TO ANYONE.

 

[EveHarrington]

Don't let one jerkoff determine your self worth. It's disgusting that people lie about having PTSD nowadays as if it's some club that the cool kids belong to. Take time to care for yourself. Put the blame on him where it belongs. :hug:

 

[Kintsugi]

He is obviously sick with something far worse than PTSD.

You, on the other hand, sound like a decent human being, and if you're feeling this way, you owe it to yourself to look for therapy of your own, because you don't deserve to feel like this over some asshole, and it sounds like you have a fraught history that could benefit from the attention of a therapist.

 

[whatif]

I have had therapy and was in a good place with myself and my thoughts and able to have a relationship until this....I feel so used and let down and how can I ever trust again?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Why? I dont know. My dad tried it, which pissed me off as he totally ignores...head in sand about my trauma, was a small part of it, refuses to read the huge PTSD sourcebook I have but pretends to have it to try for 100% disabilty through the VA to get my step mom insurence because she's so crippled (but can do more physically than me and i work, she refuses to).

He didnt get it by the way. The doctor said "I dont think you have it" and he said its not worth pushing but he's still convinced he has it though he shows zero symptoms.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think that when someone destructive comes into our lives it takes time to heal. How long has it been since things ended with this guy?

 

[whatif]

Not long enough!! And I can't stop replaying the whole thing over and over and wondering where did I miss something....but nothing to miss.......head games...my fault

 

[Friday]

You're not responsible for someone else's lies.

Did you make them lie? Nope. So that's on them.
Did you make them play games? Ditto. Also on them.

It's not your fault that someone else is a liar.

 

[EveHarrington]

No, not your fault!

You took a chance. You reached out to another and opened yourself up to them. This is generally a good thing. Unfortunately you met a bad person who wasn't honest with you. It will take time to heal but I fully believe that you will be able to find someone else to get close to at some point in the future. :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

my fault

I agree with the rest, you are not responsible for another's behaviors and if you didnt see it thats because you are trusting and thats a good thing!

What can you learn from this thats productive and constructive (so not 'I wont ever trust again')? I ask because Im coming to learn that everything has a lesson in it that we can grow from. You may not have a productive and/or constructive answer and thats ok too, just something to think about.

Either way, totally not your fault, at all! :hug: