Jlso111187
MyPTSD Pro
It has been 15 years since the last time my abuser raped me. I today finally turned him in. I dont know how I feel at this point. So many emotions are going through my head. I know I did the right thing because he raped his granddaughter who is 5 just last month and thats what started this event. I dont feel lighter like everyone said I would. I had buried so much and now all the emotions are right back at the surface. Do I feel like I could of stopped him from raping anyone else yes i do. I blame myself that another little girl has to go through the same hell I have been living in for almost 25 years. There is so much that I cant express right now but the feeling the most is hate and guilt. I hate this man for all 5 of us who have came forward in the last month, I hate my aunt who told her daughter she was lying about my uncle raping her as I feel if she would of belived her none of us would have to go through what we did. I hate myself for not saying anything sooner. or telling the one i did tell to keep my secret with me. I hate that my uncle had the adacity to call me up after finding out he was being investigated for rape to tell me to keep silent. I feel guilty for not coming forward sooner and saving others. I just have soo much on my mind and cant seem to think clearly right now. Maybe when I sort through it all things will get better.
Any one else have thoughts that could help????
Any one else have thoughts that could help????