A little background...Last month we found out we had termites. House tented (cleaned out savings) and we spent three nights in a hotel. Four humans, a dog, a cat and a fish...yeah, I've had better days than those! LOL
Anyway, on Sunday my husband and I were discussing how much damage has been done to the house, who we're going to get to figure that out and the cost. He says that they may have to rip off the roof to fix the damage and all I could see was dollar signs flashing in front of my eyes. I'm concerned about the money. Hell, before the PTSD I would have been worried about where I'm going to come up with that kind of money.
When I get worried I get quiet. Then he gets pissed at me and says 'I shouldn't have said anything about it.' Well that just pushed all of my buttons and flipped every switch. I told him that him keeping important family information from me is not an option. He then gets that cocky male attitude (sorry guys) and says, 'I'll make a judgment call if I feel it's necessary'.
EXCUSE ME????????????????????? :angry-fla I'm a 38 years old responsible adult. I've been married for 20 years and have helped to raise two children. I'm not a damned child that is told 'you don't need to know this now', I'm not a china doll to be put on a high shelf because I might break. Yes, I have PTSD, but that doesn't mean that I've suddenly become incapable of being an active participant in my life and my family.
When I told him this I also told him that I'm getting stronger everyday and the only way to keep getting stronger is to keep dealing with life and not have it kept from me. His response of 'But you've been so much. And you are delicate. The woman I married didn't cry in the morning before work or cry at night after work. So you've changed and I'll continue to make my judgement calls.' I told him that was unacceptable and this is now part of me and if he didn't want to deal with it anymore, the yellow pages were under the counter and there's plenty of divorce lawyers in it.
Of couse this was screamed at each other over the dinner table (with a few more adjectives thrown in) while the kids just stared at us. In all of the years we've been married, ever our worst fights we hardly ever raised our voices to each other. I hate that my temper (never very even to begin with) just jumps up to fight first, ask questions later. My frustrations feed it, too.
Once we calmed down, we were able to talk more rationally (and apologize to the girls). I've tried to see it from his point of view. And if I was as bad as I was three or four months ago...yes, I could understand. But if the situation was reversed and I tried to keep a major decision away from him...OMG-Katie bar the door!!
I know posting this is solving nothing but at least maybe I can get this loop that keeps playing out of my head. I know he means well and we both could have handled it better. I guess we're both on our learning curve.
*stepping off of soap box* Thanks for a place to rant.
Anyway, on Sunday my husband and I were discussing how much damage has been done to the house, who we're going to get to figure that out and the cost. He says that they may have to rip off the roof to fix the damage and all I could see was dollar signs flashing in front of my eyes. I'm concerned about the money. Hell, before the PTSD I would have been worried about where I'm going to come up with that kind of money.
When I get worried I get quiet. Then he gets pissed at me and says 'I shouldn't have said anything about it.' Well that just pushed all of my buttons and flipped every switch. I told him that him keeping important family information from me is not an option. He then gets that cocky male attitude (sorry guys) and says, 'I'll make a judgment call if I feel it's necessary'.
EXCUSE ME????????????????????? :angry-fla I'm a 38 years old responsible adult. I've been married for 20 years and have helped to raise two children. I'm not a damned child that is told 'you don't need to know this now', I'm not a china doll to be put on a high shelf because I might break. Yes, I have PTSD, but that doesn't mean that I've suddenly become incapable of being an active participant in my life and my family.
When I told him this I also told him that I'm getting stronger everyday and the only way to keep getting stronger is to keep dealing with life and not have it kept from me. His response of 'But you've been so much. And you are delicate. The woman I married didn't cry in the morning before work or cry at night after work. So you've changed and I'll continue to make my judgement calls.' I told him that was unacceptable and this is now part of me and if he didn't want to deal with it anymore, the yellow pages were under the counter and there's plenty of divorce lawyers in it.
Of couse this was screamed at each other over the dinner table (with a few more adjectives thrown in) while the kids just stared at us. In all of the years we've been married, ever our worst fights we hardly ever raised our voices to each other. I hate that my temper (never very even to begin with) just jumps up to fight first, ask questions later. My frustrations feed it, too.
Once we calmed down, we were able to talk more rationally (and apologize to the girls). I've tried to see it from his point of view. And if I was as bad as I was three or four months ago...yes, I could understand. But if the situation was reversed and I tried to keep a major decision away from him...OMG-Katie bar the door!!
I know posting this is solving nothing but at least maybe I can get this loop that keeps playing out of my head. I know he means well and we both could have handled it better. I guess we're both on our learning curve.
*stepping off of soap box* Thanks for a place to rant.