lostforgottensoul
MyPTSD Pro
So, I wrote this in my diary earlier but I think it might do well as it's own thread as I honestly want some feedback here on how to change or challenge this thought.
The short of it is I've been spiraling downward and I couldn't figure out why so I reflected on it before therapy and literally minutes before the call I had this epiphany or whatever. That if I am not perfect, I'm failing. I'm not actively thinking it though which is why it took forever to even figure it out. It's good that I did but not sure how to challenge it. It just feels like how my brain works. And like I said, I am not actively thinking it. I'm more like applying those standards to myself and so when I don't do perfect or near perfect I am spiraling downward. So how do you challenge something you aren't actively thinking?
Back in my trauma not doing perfect meant torture. I know that. I know it's not happening now but I still struggle to not apply super high, unattainable standards to myself. And with my job, the more I see how not good I am doing the worse I do, if that makes sense.
I just don't know how to challenge a thought I'm not actually actively thinking but rather applying the standards to myself. Like, I get how to stop myself from thinking something or challenging a thought but how do you stop applying unattainable standards to yourself while still striving for high standards? I hope that made sense.
The short of it is I've been spiraling downward and I couldn't figure out why so I reflected on it before therapy and literally minutes before the call I had this epiphany or whatever. That if I am not perfect, I'm failing. I'm not actively thinking it though which is why it took forever to even figure it out. It's good that I did but not sure how to challenge it. It just feels like how my brain works. And like I said, I am not actively thinking it. I'm more like applying those standards to myself and so when I don't do perfect or near perfect I am spiraling downward. So how do you challenge something you aren't actively thinking?
Back in my trauma not doing perfect meant torture. I know that. I know it's not happening now but I still struggle to not apply super high, unattainable standards to myself. And with my job, the more I see how not good I am doing the worse I do, if that makes sense.
I just don't know how to challenge a thought I'm not actually actively thinking but rather applying the standards to myself. Like, I get how to stop myself from thinking something or challenging a thought but how do you stop applying unattainable standards to yourself while still striving for high standards? I hope that made sense.