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I hate people so much

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JessC

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I was just on a singles app because I tired of being lonely my whole life. I got a message and we talked for hours. I was completely honest. They seemed to be kind and caring. The only two qualities I look for. I let down my defenses to be more honest about my problems. Again thoughtful, nice, and caring. Then they tried to scam me for 500 dollars, and when I questioned them on their motives for something like that. They just started using the things I told them as a way to hurt me for not doing it. Why do people only want to take advantage and hurt me wherever I turn. I can't take this shit! The only thing I've gotten from trying to improve my life is more tears. I really don't feel like living if this kind of thing is always going to happen all the time.
 
I was just on a singles app because I tired of being lonely my whole life. I got a message and we talked for hours. I was completely honest. They seemed to be kind and caring. The only two qualities I look for. I let down my defenses to be more honest about my problems. Again thoughtful, nice, and caring. Then they tried to scam me for 500 dollars, and when I questioned them on their motives for something like that. They just started using the things I told them as a way to hurt me for not doing it. Why do people only want to take advantage and hurt me wherever I turn. I can't take this shit! The only thing I've gotten from trying to improve my life is more tears. I really don't feel like living if this kind of thing is always going to happen all the time.
Sorry to hear. I wouldn't advise going on dating apps and disclosing personnel information if I were you. That type of thing is very common.
 
I really don't feel like living if this kind of thing is always going to happen all the time.
it's not. It sometimes feels like it is going to happen all of the time but you don't have to look very far to see people that trust and are trusted. They are all around us. Sometimes it feels like I am only finding people I can't trust, and it sucks. But "all the time" is not a fact, and "all around me" is clear to see.
This is a tough thing and I hope you get past it, there are people just like you that have, this is a good place to talk about it, I hope you are around to do the work and get the benefit of it.
I try to remember the reason I keep doing the hard things and working on getting this right: Because it is the only way it has ever been done
 
I'm sorry that happened.
People shouldn't take advantage, but there are people out there who do. That's why it takes me a very very long time to open up to someone. I need to know they are trustworthy first.
I prob take too long with that. It sounds as though you did that quite quickly with this person? So maybe there is a healthy middle ground out there?
 
Hey, sorry to hear that. But honestly for having practiced dating apps for a while, most of the time it's ok. I do remain on the joking spot for a long time and only meet in daylight in areas with people or in the bars everyone knows me, close to my house. I never had a bad experience with dating apps. I had bad experiences with friends of friends because I trusted them. Dating apps can be upsetting but actually if you respect patterns you're so much more in control.
 
It’s very hard. I stopped drinking while I was still dating in the 80s. That made it much harder trying to meet people! and it’s lonely and hard to understand why people seem like that.

Given how I was though? I made it, that’s all I can say. I was very symptomatic and acting out everything and I was just clueless.

At least you are thinking about what you might do about it and asking about it which is all really great and so much better than totally alone, even if it’s only the Internet. I hope you don’t stay lonely too long.
 
Yeah, I don't care for the human race much, either. I think there are a handful (maybe) of people who are genuinely caring and not interested in hurting me, but the rest...? Nah. It's one reason I have cats.
 
Hi. I rarely post at all, but I was swinging by and saw this thread. I, too, have trouble trusting people, including therapists. Lots of bad experiences, and reaching out usually exposes me to those who immediately see "victim" writ large across my forehead.

Years ago, I experienced partial homelessness. In that situation, rarely does reaching out get more than scorn and rejection, and usually resulted in attempts to scam or harm. The method I learned to trust in order to find others was to offer small forms of help, to encourage and build up with kind words. This does not result in an automatic identification of who can be trusted, but over time, it becomes clear who approaches out of pure self interest, and who reacts with genuine gratitude or a welcoming attitude.

With some practice, moving slowly and being cautious, it is possible to find good or compatible souls. Not best friends or lovers, which take years if done well, but acquaintances and light friendships that can take you out of isolation and build relationship skills. One step at a time, and once again, never announce yourself to strangers as in need of help; rather, offer it to others in small ways that do not commit you to things you cannot do or afford, and you will come across kindred spirits.
 
Hi. I rarely post at all, but I was swinging by and saw this thread. I, too, have trouble trusting people, including therapists. Lots of bad experiences, and reaching out usually exposes me to those who immediately see "victim" writ large across my forehead.

Years ago, I experienced partial homelessness. In that situation, rarely does reaching out get more than scorn and rejection, and usually resulted in attempts to scam or harm. The method I learned to trust in order to find others was to offer small forms of help, to encourage and build up with kind words. This does not result in an automatic identification of who can be trusted, but over time, it becomes clear who approaches out of pure self interest, and who reacts with genuine gratitude or a welcoming attitude.

With some practice, moving slowly and being cautious, it is possible to find good or compatible souls. Not best friends or lovers, which take years if done well, but acquaintances and light friendships that can take you out of isolation and build relationship skills. One step at a time, and once again, never announce yourself to strangers as in need of help; rather, offer it to others in small ways that do not commit you to things you cannot do or afford, and you will come across kindred spirits.
Thank you for the advice.
 
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