barefoot
MyPTSD Pro
I am becoming increasingly concerned about my brother-in-law and would really appreciate any insight or advice that anyone is able to offer.
He lives in Australia and is really struggling with the current lockdown situation in his state. He recently lost a job he loved (through no fault of his own – Covid has shut down his industry for now, so where he worked couldn’t keep everyone on any longer, plus there are no jobs going in his industry/line of work at the moment, as no one is recruiting currently)
In addition, he has got into several conspiracy theories. He spends most of his time drinking, smoking weed, and looking up everything he can find on the internet that suggests that the pandemic is a hoax, we are all being controlled, Bill Gates is the only one benefitting from the vaccine so be anti-vaccine, the world is run by paedophiles etc.
He has spiralled into: the world is a terrible place full of terrible people, we all need to fight (he can’t really then say what he means by that), he’s never going to get another job he loves/is good at, he never should have left the UK and so on.
He seems in a very low, dark place but doesn’t seem to see that. This is not the first time he has spiralled to the depths of despair – I think he has struggled with bouts of depression for years but has always denied that and not sought any help. He will not speak to his GP about how he feels and he definitely won’t consider talking to a counsellor.
He is very caught up in how terrible the world is and seems to blame this for everything he’s feeling ie it’s not that he’s struggling with his mental health as millions have through Covid/lockdowns, it’s not that he’s feeling low or lacking in purpose because he’s lost the job he loves, it’s not that he misses home and is worried about his family because he can’t travel anywhere – instead, it’s all because people running the world are lying to us, controlling us, making up a non-existent pandemic... He believes that the root of his current pain and despair is corrupt world leaders who are destroying the world with everything they do – from making up Covid, to the (mis)handling of the withdrawal from Afghanistan to everyone being paedophiles…
He has also started talking about suicide in terms of he’ll be better off not being on this planet.
His partner is worried sick and worried to leave him every day when she goes to work because she doesn’t know what he’ll do and what she’ll come home to.
My wife is also worried sick – her own anxiety is spiking and it’s affecting her sleep and her well-being.
None of us know how best to help him.
Challenging him on the conspiracy theories does no good as he has an answer for everything, can find a source to ‘prove’ everything he’s saying (even though he also contradicts himself hugely). And, as much as we think he is deluded, he thinks the same about us because he’s convinced he knows the truth and that we just don’t/won’t see it.
We’ve tried encouraging him to go to his GP but he won’t.
We’ve tried reassuring him that things will re-open again at some point, as they have here, and that he will get another job sometime.
We’ve tried talking about depression and sharing our own experiences and what has/hasn’t helped to try to destigmatise depression/mental health challenges and show that improvement is possible.
We’ve suggested that drinking so much and being on the internet all day probably isn’t helping.
No one wants to nag him or come over all judgey. At the same time, we are all very worried about him. And my wife and I are also worried about his partner – she sounds at the end of her tether, is at a loss of what to do and she is terrified she’s going to come home from work one day and find that he has left or taken his own life.
I know my wife feels more helpless because we are over the other side of the world. But, even if we lived there, I don’t really know what we could do apart from be there to offer support if he ever decides he wants it. He just doesn’t seem to accept that there is any kind of ‘problem’ (bad choice of word but I can’t think of a better one to write just now) with himself that he could try to do something about….from his point of view, the ‘problem’ isn’t anything about him….it’s the terrible people running this terrible world that is causing him to feel this way and, as he can’t do anything about that, he is better off not being here.
Has anyone got any suggestions, please? My anxiety is really rocketing (the stress cup over floweth!), I’m also trying to support my wife who is very upset and worried, and we’re both trying to support his partner who’s finding things extremely difficult…and we’re all so worried about him and what we can do.
Is there actually anything we can do?!
He lives in Australia and is really struggling with the current lockdown situation in his state. He recently lost a job he loved (through no fault of his own – Covid has shut down his industry for now, so where he worked couldn’t keep everyone on any longer, plus there are no jobs going in his industry/line of work at the moment, as no one is recruiting currently)
In addition, he has got into several conspiracy theories. He spends most of his time drinking, smoking weed, and looking up everything he can find on the internet that suggests that the pandemic is a hoax, we are all being controlled, Bill Gates is the only one benefitting from the vaccine so be anti-vaccine, the world is run by paedophiles etc.
He has spiralled into: the world is a terrible place full of terrible people, we all need to fight (he can’t really then say what he means by that), he’s never going to get another job he loves/is good at, he never should have left the UK and so on.
He seems in a very low, dark place but doesn’t seem to see that. This is not the first time he has spiralled to the depths of despair – I think he has struggled with bouts of depression for years but has always denied that and not sought any help. He will not speak to his GP about how he feels and he definitely won’t consider talking to a counsellor.
He is very caught up in how terrible the world is and seems to blame this for everything he’s feeling ie it’s not that he’s struggling with his mental health as millions have through Covid/lockdowns, it’s not that he’s feeling low or lacking in purpose because he’s lost the job he loves, it’s not that he misses home and is worried about his family because he can’t travel anywhere – instead, it’s all because people running the world are lying to us, controlling us, making up a non-existent pandemic... He believes that the root of his current pain and despair is corrupt world leaders who are destroying the world with everything they do – from making up Covid, to the (mis)handling of the withdrawal from Afghanistan to everyone being paedophiles…
He has also started talking about suicide in terms of he’ll be better off not being on this planet.
His partner is worried sick and worried to leave him every day when she goes to work because she doesn’t know what he’ll do and what she’ll come home to.
My wife is also worried sick – her own anxiety is spiking and it’s affecting her sleep and her well-being.
None of us know how best to help him.
Challenging him on the conspiracy theories does no good as he has an answer for everything, can find a source to ‘prove’ everything he’s saying (even though he also contradicts himself hugely). And, as much as we think he is deluded, he thinks the same about us because he’s convinced he knows the truth and that we just don’t/won’t see it.
We’ve tried encouraging him to go to his GP but he won’t.
We’ve tried reassuring him that things will re-open again at some point, as they have here, and that he will get another job sometime.
We’ve tried talking about depression and sharing our own experiences and what has/hasn’t helped to try to destigmatise depression/mental health challenges and show that improvement is possible.
We’ve suggested that drinking so much and being on the internet all day probably isn’t helping.
No one wants to nag him or come over all judgey. At the same time, we are all very worried about him. And my wife and I are also worried about his partner – she sounds at the end of her tether, is at a loss of what to do and she is terrified she’s going to come home from work one day and find that he has left or taken his own life.
I know my wife feels more helpless because we are over the other side of the world. But, even if we lived there, I don’t really know what we could do apart from be there to offer support if he ever decides he wants it. He just doesn’t seem to accept that there is any kind of ‘problem’ (bad choice of word but I can’t think of a better one to write just now) with himself that he could try to do something about….from his point of view, the ‘problem’ isn’t anything about him….it’s the terrible people running this terrible world that is causing him to feel this way and, as he can’t do anything about that, he is better off not being here.
Has anyone got any suggestions, please? My anxiety is really rocketing (the stress cup over floweth!), I’m also trying to support my wife who is very upset and worried, and we’re both trying to support his partner who’s finding things extremely difficult…and we’re all so worried about him and what we can do.
Is there actually anything we can do?!