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Final Assignment for School

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whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I have three degrees but am working on a copyediting certificate (remind me not to do this again). The final is a twenty-page, edited manuscript which we've been working on throughout the term. I've been editing for years, so this was just an chance to brush up on the newer stuff, and be able to show training in this field.

The instructor in this course is impossible. She has had to change my grade twice because her comments on and corrections to my work were completely wrong. Now, as I'm trying to finish up the final manuscript--due tomorrow--I am struggling over edits she made that, again, are wrong, and questions I've asked her via email that she won't answer. She has developed a condescending tone in all of her answers, and now I'm stuck with...well, a mess.

I'm not the only one having issues with her and her edits/explanations. I've talked to a few others, and they are noticing the same thing. She posts publicly sometimes in response to questions, and she's often wrong there, too. People point it out, but she just blows them off.

I'm probably having more issues dealing with this than others; I've been in tears all morning (after, sadly, a blessedly good night's sleep). I am ANGRY. I just want to chuck the whole damn thing. I won't, because this is the last assignment. I mean, we still have a week, but our grade depends on this last thing.

I don't know how to manage the anger and frustration. In my head, I see myself throwing dishes against the wall and breaking everything I have in the house. I can't stop crying. I want to scream and cut.
 
In my head, I see myself throwing dishes against the wall and breaking everything
In my city there is a place you can go and pay to break dishes! It’s kind of expensive for me but if you need an outlet?

Also, goodwill has lots of dishes for cheap, if you’re interested.

I’ve never broken dishes to sublimate anger but I’ve thought about it!

There is also an ax-throwing place here, in a strip mall.

Each of these places costs less than a therapy session so probably worth it if you have anger to release immediately.

Do you have a go-to way to release anger? My T suggested whacking a broom handle on a bed but I haven’t tried it yet.
 
n my city there is a place you can go and pay to break dishes! It’s kind of expensive for me but if you need an outlet?
Oh my gosh...if I ever win the lottery, I would love to open up a chain of these! LOL


Can you get her supervisor involved?
I'm working on that. No idea who supervises her (it's with a major university, but it's online only). I'm in my last two weeks, and the final is due tomorrow, so it won't help there, but I really want to talk to someone about all of this!
 
I'm probably having more issues dealing with this than others; I've been in tears all morning (after, sadly, a blessedly good night's sleep). I am ANGRY. I just want to chuck the whole damn thing. I won't, because this is the last assignment. I mean, we still have a week, but our grade depends on this last thing.

I don't know how to manage the anger and frustration. In my head, I see myself throwing dishes against the wall and breaking everything I have in the house. I can't stop crying. I want to scream and cut.
Ah. The curse of a good night’s sleep on top of a full stress cup… having the ENERGY to really, really explode/implode.

#1 for me is exactly what your instincts are screaming at you… go break some shit. On purpose, rather than out of control. Serious big bad bada boom stress relieving ventastic time. Get it out of my system. Blow OFF all the excess fight/flight chemical maelstrom swirling in my blood by using it, rather than fighting it. Whether it’s throwing dishes, or beating up a heavy bag (until it submits, dammit, or I get bored and am just laying on the floor staring at it swing). Then?

#2 180 Degree shift from explosive to controlled/calm/focused/relaxed. Self care style. Hot shower. Clean clothes. Sandwich. Tea. Book.

#3 More blowing off stress, this time… in “normal mode”. Go for a walk, swim, run, whatever level of physical activity is normal for me.

#4 Self care part deux. (The SERIES) Another shower, something to eat/drink, and time to think about how to plan my day/days to account for explosive rage spikes when dealing with this particular piece of idiocy. Because, clearly, this level of stupid is going to need some special handling.

During my divorce I would use the firing range (insta-calm-cool-collected // every time I started to get het up? Walk my happy ass inside and put holes in paper); during taxes & other governmental paperwork barrages I often binge watch a couple seasons of something I find absolutely hilarious (distraction + sense of humor? check). School papers I often take my laptop to the swimming pool. It doesn’t really matter what “it” is, that I’m using to ground myself & monitor/manage my mood/stress… just that it compliments whatever task it is I’ve set myself at. Yes, it takes longer than if I wasn’t edgy as f*ck… but a helluva lot less time than if I kick into full blown meltdown+hangover.
 
Ah. The curse of a good night’s sleep on top of a full stress cup… having the ENERGY to really, really explode/implode.
LOL. Yeah...I didn't even think about that. LOTS of energy.
#2 180 Degree shift from explosive to controlled/calm/focused/relaxed. Self care style. Hot shower. Clean clothes. Sandwich. Tea. Book.
I ended up going out and picking up breakfast. Worked a little, then took a hot shower. Hot showers ALWAYS help. I tend to take them without thinking why I'm doing it.
#3 More blowing off stress, this time… in “normal mode”. Go for a walk, swim, run, whatever level of physical activity is normal for me.
Yeah...I think I'm going to take a walk in just a bit. We have a lovely lake that makes me happy.
#4 Self care part deux. (The SERIES) Another shower, something to eat/drink, and time to think about how to plan my day/days to account for explosive rage spikes when dealing with this particular piece of idiocy. Because, clearly, this level of stupid is going to need some special handling.
Thank for saying that. It definitely does.
During my divorce I would use the firing range (insta-calm-cool-collected // every time I started to get het up? Walk my happy ass inside and put holes in paper);
I used to do this when I was at college. Our instructor called me Annie Oakley. I stay away from guns now, but I really enjoyed it when I did it.
I often binge watch a couple seasons of something I find absolutely hilarious (distraction + sense of humor? check).
I love to binge watch stuff. Just something completely mindless. l'm thinking about going to see a movie - haven't been in years, and I always loved getting lost in film.

Thanks, @Friday.
 
I have three degrees but am working on a copyediting certificate (remind me not to do this again). The final is a twenty-page, edited manuscript which we've been working on throughout the term. I've been editing for years, so this was just an chance to brush up on the newer stuff, and be able to show training in this field.

The instructor in this course is impossible. She has had to change my grade twice because her comments on and corrections to my work were completely wrong. Now, as I'm trying to finish up the final manuscript--due tomorrow--I am struggling over edits she made that, again, are wrong, and questions I've asked her via email that she won't answer. She has developed a condescending tone in all of her answers, and now I'm stuck with...well, a mess.

I'm not the only one having issues with her and her edits/explanations. I've talked to a few others, and they are noticing the same thing. She posts publicly sometimes in response to questions, and she's often wrong there, too. People point it out, but she just blows them off.

I'm probably having more issues dealing with this than others; I've been in tears all morning (after, sadly, a blessedly good night's sleep). I am ANGRY. I just want to chuck the whole damn thing. I won't, because this is the last assignment. I mean, we still have a week, but our grade depends on this last thing.

I don't know how to manage the anger and frustration. In my head, I see myself throwing dishes against the wall and breaking everything I have in the house. I can't stop crying. I want to scream and cut.
Does making plans help? If she is wrong than she should not be teaching the course. So make preparations to demonstrate to her superiors the errors of her way. Whether you actually do it is to be determined. Putting your anger to constructive use takes it off you and places on the teacher.
 
Does making plans help? If she is wrong than she should not be teaching the course. So make preparations to demonstrate to her superiors the errors of her way. Whether you actually do it is to be determined. Putting your anger to constructive use takes it off you and places on the teacher.
Yeah...one of the issues I had was that I knew I'd be able to address this in the survey we get at the end of the program, but I was struggling with the feelings--anger, upset- I was having in the moment. Unfortunately, when I am like that, it doesn't help to just plan for what I need to say. I wish it did, though. I'm definitely a planner!
 
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