Ohmbitious
New Here
So this is probably weird and bear with me this will likely ramble a bit. My prescribing psychiatrist told me he thought I had cptsd 18 months ago after about 9 months of seeing him. It surprised me but I knew I was broken and I’m very much looking for information to help make sense of it all. The more I read about it the more it feels like those elusive puzzle pieces that never made sense falling into place. The manic roller coaster of breakthroughs followed by crushing realizations was/is really intense. Anyway, everything feels like I’m making progress until I try to get some financial support because I was coasting on my savings. I’m confronted with the question why my psychiatrist and therapist have different diagnosis. This is where is gets sketchy… so I ask my Dr the same question to which he replied that since he is the prescribing psychiatrist what mattered to him were my meds. They matched both cptsd and anxiety/depression he had from early on as my diagnosis. Basically it didn’t matter as long as his prescriptions were right. Navigating social services with lies from your Dr is extremely frustrating. It’s not like I’m wealthy and can tread financial waters like this forever. I’m pretty amazed I’ve gotten 2.5 years into it on my own, but now I’ve been in pretty extreme survival mode for awhile. The last session I told him I thought I was dissociating and knew I was missing taking my meds sometimes half the time. A new social worker I’m working with told me he recorded it as I told him I was “doing very well” on my meds. So on her recommendation I requested a new psychiatrist to try this one more time. Dr calls me wakes me up and talks me into coming in for a face to face to discuss it. He’s not big on face to face sessions. I’m taking this to mean I need to expect more manipulating and gaslighting but maybe if I confront the cptsd diagnosis and he seems sincere I should give him another last chance? It’s my therapist that I became close with, I don’t think I’ve really trusted my Dr since I found out he never changed my diagnosis so should that be my answer? That’s how I’m still leaning, trust is hard enough for me without my psychiatrist bullshitting me. Oh and I’ve had 2 issues of prescriptions not being recorded. It took 3 weeks and an email from my therapist requesting the already agreed upon prescription change to get trazadone the first time. Anyway, any advice is appreciated, I’m too close to it with a lot of stress and frustration wrapped up with it.