Hi everyone -
I just found this site and am hoping I’m posting in the right section. I suffer from PTSD due to an abusive relationship that I was in for 8 years. I struggle the most with anxiety surrounding finances, abandonment and control. I got into a new relationship about a year and a half after finally leaving my ex and my boyfriend I have been together for almost 3 years at this point. Looking back I think I got into a relationship sooner than I should have, but at this point hindsight is 20/20.
We are really struggling. He has a really hard time dealing with the effects of my ptsd and I think sometimes it makes it worse than it needs to be. He says I make him feel like he’s my ex. He feels like we’ve been together for almost 3 years and I should know that he isn’t going to hurt me, or steal from me or force me to do anything I don’t want to do. Unfortunately certain things trigger me and I just don’t feel like I have any control over my reaction. I guess I’m just looking for any tips or suggestions from other people that know what this is like. What can I do when these situations happen? I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel, I hate how it makes him feel.
As an example of something that is struggle for me, I’ll say I need to get groceries and he’ll say we don’t have time to go to the grocery store until the next day and I go into an absolute panic. And it turns into me freaking out and saying that he’s controlling and he’s not allowing me to feed my kids and it just spirals into this huge thing that was totally unnecessary. It’s not like my cupboards are bare. There’s food that I can feed us, but it’s like I just go into an absolute panic until I feel like if I don’t get to the grocery store right then and there the world is going to end.
There has to be a way to calm myself. There has to be something I can do to recognize it’s about to happen and something that will help me to chill myself out before it ends up being a huge blow out. For the most part I have a very structured, routine life. I do the same things at the same times on the same days and I know what to expect and I know what’s coming next and I know that that helps me a lot. But I can’t handle when a bump shows up in the road. If something unexpected happens or my routine gets disrupted it causes me major anxiety. I struggle with weekends because it’s not always planned and structured and things change. And certain errands we fit in when we’re able to, so I struggle with that. I guess I’m just looking for any support or suggestions or tips of what I can do to calm myself down when I feel myself starting spiral like that.
Thanks!
I just found this site and am hoping I’m posting in the right section. I suffer from PTSD due to an abusive relationship that I was in for 8 years. I struggle the most with anxiety surrounding finances, abandonment and control. I got into a new relationship about a year and a half after finally leaving my ex and my boyfriend I have been together for almost 3 years at this point. Looking back I think I got into a relationship sooner than I should have, but at this point hindsight is 20/20.
We are really struggling. He has a really hard time dealing with the effects of my ptsd and I think sometimes it makes it worse than it needs to be. He says I make him feel like he’s my ex. He feels like we’ve been together for almost 3 years and I should know that he isn’t going to hurt me, or steal from me or force me to do anything I don’t want to do. Unfortunately certain things trigger me and I just don’t feel like I have any control over my reaction. I guess I’m just looking for any tips or suggestions from other people that know what this is like. What can I do when these situations happen? I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel, I hate how it makes him feel.
As an example of something that is struggle for me, I’ll say I need to get groceries and he’ll say we don’t have time to go to the grocery store until the next day and I go into an absolute panic. And it turns into me freaking out and saying that he’s controlling and he’s not allowing me to feed my kids and it just spirals into this huge thing that was totally unnecessary. It’s not like my cupboards are bare. There’s food that I can feed us, but it’s like I just go into an absolute panic until I feel like if I don’t get to the grocery store right then and there the world is going to end.
There has to be a way to calm myself. There has to be something I can do to recognize it’s about to happen and something that will help me to chill myself out before it ends up being a huge blow out. For the most part I have a very structured, routine life. I do the same things at the same times on the same days and I know what to expect and I know what’s coming next and I know that that helps me a lot. But I can’t handle when a bump shows up in the road. If something unexpected happens or my routine gets disrupted it causes me major anxiety. I struggle with weekends because it’s not always planned and structured and things change. And certain errands we fit in when we’re able to, so I struggle with that. I guess I’m just looking for any support or suggestions or tips of what I can do to calm myself down when I feel myself starting spiral like that.
Thanks!