Polyfractal
Learning
I have been professionally diagnosed with complex PTSD, I have what my psychiatrist called--pseudo hallucination, which is voluntary, a safe hiding place for me. I would hallucinate on a daily basis to my safe hiding place by merging the physical realm to my safe realm. I would find myself living in the underground, where no intruders would come to hurt me. For example, when I am sitting in my study room, I am sitting in this other safe realm. The hallucination is not my choice, I have been abused to the point that I need to find a place that would be harmless to me. I have been abused on a daily basis for many years. An underground place seems to be a cold place, but I have chosen to create this place, paradoxically as my trauma experienced was also cold and brutal.
I have been seeing a wall of glass in front of me, separating myself and the world since I was 8 years old. I searched it up and this is called derealization. I also had depersonalization, out-of-body experiences during the trauma and abuse that I have suffered. I would observe myself from a third person perspective. I was raped on a daily basis for many years and this would happen. I couldn't count the amount of times I have been abused.
I have been seeing a wall of glass in front of me, separating myself and the world since I was 8 years old. I searched it up and this is called derealization. I also had depersonalization, out-of-body experiences during the trauma and abuse that I have suffered. I would observe myself from a third person perspective. I was raped on a daily basis for many years and this would happen. I couldn't count the amount of times I have been abused.