A child in an adults body

[strongshadow96]

I recently turned 27 and I haven't accomplished what I thought I would have by now. At 23 cptsd was disrupting my education, although I didn't know it was cptsd at the time, and I took a leave of absence from school. Shortly after that COVID/quarantine happened and I spiralled even further. I'm in a much better place in my life now. I have a wonderful fiancé and am planning to go back to school soon, but that has still been a challenge for me. I'm disappointed, not necessarily with myself but with my life circumstances. I feel behind professionally and I'm upset that most of my late 20's were attributed to healing from my childhood trauma (which I've only really scratched the surface) I know it's a good thing that I am healing, but I feel that I've been grieving my lost potential lately.

I know that there is no rush or timeframe to these things. I will eventually reach my goals but I'm tired of being stuck in this adolescence, of not having the money to afford basic things or things I just want. I'm not struggling, I've saved a decent amount but most of it will be used on school so I try to be frugal. I feel so behind in life and want to enter my 30's feeling like an actual adult and being able to provide for myself and eventually my family.

 

[Friday]

I recently turned 27 and I haven't accomplished what I thought I would have by now

In anthropology? That’s called “cohert effect”. In after-school-special-BS? It’s called “peer pressure”.

AKA What you expect to have ABC by XYZ… because? “Everyone else is”.

It’s why engagement ring commercials are on pop radio stations only young idiots listen to, but not jazz stations that everyone listen to. And why STD commercials are on late night TV, instead of prime time.

know that there is no rush or timeframe to these things. I will eventually reach my goals but I'm tired of being stuck in this adolescence, of not having the money to afford basic things or things I just want

I grew up military-poor (food and housing and medical, yes, everything else, no). I’ve had millions to my name, & have been homeless; I’ve been broke, & living like a queen. I’ve had world renowned surgeons on track for Nobel prizes, and the bottom 1% of their class McDoctors who couldn’t correctly diagnose a cold.

I know that there is no rush or timeframe to these things.

Yes. There is. Although it’s very political of you to acknowledge that it’s a minority of people who have access. +10 IQ points to you.

The TIMEFRAME on these things? Varies. Depending on your resources. Full stop. and the bottom 1% of their class McDoctors who couldn’t correctly diagnose a cold.

I feel so behind in life and want to enter my 30's feeling like an actual adult and being able to provide for myself and eventually my family.

Then you’ll probably never achieve that. Which is okay, if you are smart enough to recognize the INFINITE ways to side step the “system”.

No one… “feels” like an “adult”… in the beginning. Whether you have a half billion in trust or are working minimum wage. Being “adult”? Is almost entirely in retrospect. IE “This” is when you took on responsibility for others. No matter how Ill prepared, nor how resourced. Fight on.

 

[Rose White]

I felt like an adult when I got married and had a kid. Self deception creeped up on me. Like a fungus it overcame me, pulled me down into the slime, left me gasping. Sadly I was not able to be an adult until I faced my shit, by which time my kids were half grown—two of the three already lost from me.

I think you are smart to want to figure it out. I think you’ll get there through uncomfortable courage and being brutally honest with yourself in the presence of an empathetic witness. Don’t discount luck, creativity, and prayer.

 

[Movingforward10]

. I feel behind professionally

This is a feeling/thought that isn’t a fact. It’s a cognitive distortion. Who are you comparing yourself to and why? everyone is on their own journey…

I'm upset that most of my late 20's were attributed to healing from my childhood

It’s unfair and unjust you have to deal with this, but…..how amazing that you have been addressing it. Shows your determination and ability.

feel that I've been grieving

This is healthy. Coming through the other side is great.

want to enter my 30's feeling like an actual adult

When you figure out what feeling like an adult is, can you let the rest of us know?! This is another cognitive distortion. You are an adult. Feelings are feelings. What is “being adult”?

 

[arfie]

I feel so behind in life and want to enter my 30's feeling like an actual adult and being able to provide for myself and eventually my family.

i'm 69 and hoping i can enter my 70's feeling like an adult. . . just hoping, though i am not hoping as fervently as i did when i was entering my 30's. these days i'm wondering if it might be true that life is not a race to be won or lost. maybe life is just a journey to be enjoyed, should we choose to enjoy it.

besides, it verily rocks to feel like a kid with my own car keys, credit cards and all-natural protection from sexual predators (old age).