dazednconfused
Confident
Okay, I know you are all probably tired of hearing from me, but my hubby came over today to fix something for my son and although I tried to avoid any talking with him, he had to speak to me.
Anyway, my question is this, Could the person with PTSD really hide their true feelings for a person or mask them? He told me that he feels bad that he does not miss me since our separation and that he knows what this is doing to me. I told him that I am getting to where I really don't miss him that much either. Of course he tells me that, that is not true. He then tells me to not look at him so sweetly, because that makes it worse for him and drives his anxiety level up. He wanted to talk and then blamed me for him wanting to talk.
He finally admitted that he does not know why he feels the way he does and I encouraged him to come here to the website, but of course as Anthony said it would be, he said he did not want to come and talk to any "fruitloops" on the internet. I think you guys are right, he is still in denial.
He has convinced himself that if he had stayed with me and our son in our household that he would have been dead in 2 years. I don't know about that, really nobody does, but like I have told him, I am going on with my life and try to do the best that I can. He acts like he wants me to do this, but then on the other hand he does not want me to do this. I told him that I hope things improve for him and that I will be praying for him. I don't tell him that I love him anymore, because he says that "sets him on edge" and right now, I really like I told him don't feel much except pain and anger towards him and it is just better that we do not talk as I am always to blame no matter what before it is over with.
I know I am not invited on his journey and I want to give him space, but even though he asks for the space, he does not want to give me my space either and I think wants to know that I am there waiting for him as he says things like "divorce is not permanent", "we could get back together after I iron out my problems". "I just need this divorce for boundaries right now".
I am going to have to have my boundaries too and I know it and he is not going to like it I guess, but as you have all told me and it has taken awhile to understand this, that until he really decides to get help, it will only get worse and I basically I guess just have to watch him hit rock bottom and hope that he comes back up out of it.
He told me today that he knows that I probably am the best thing that ever happened to him and he is just too stupid to understand it right now. He keeps looking deep into my eyes and stuff when we are talking like he wishes the could feel differently, but he can't and he just does not know how to feel and I of course cannot understand as easily, because although I understand what it is like to be abused, I never had the PTSD symptoms as he has now.
Thanks for listening and if you had similar feelings when going through the first part of this, please let me know. I would appreciate it.
dazed
Anyway, my question is this, Could the person with PTSD really hide their true feelings for a person or mask them? He told me that he feels bad that he does not miss me since our separation and that he knows what this is doing to me. I told him that I am getting to where I really don't miss him that much either. Of course he tells me that, that is not true. He then tells me to not look at him so sweetly, because that makes it worse for him and drives his anxiety level up. He wanted to talk and then blamed me for him wanting to talk.
He finally admitted that he does not know why he feels the way he does and I encouraged him to come here to the website, but of course as Anthony said it would be, he said he did not want to come and talk to any "fruitloops" on the internet. I think you guys are right, he is still in denial.
He has convinced himself that if he had stayed with me and our son in our household that he would have been dead in 2 years. I don't know about that, really nobody does, but like I have told him, I am going on with my life and try to do the best that I can. He acts like he wants me to do this, but then on the other hand he does not want me to do this. I told him that I hope things improve for him and that I will be praying for him. I don't tell him that I love him anymore, because he says that "sets him on edge" and right now, I really like I told him don't feel much except pain and anger towards him and it is just better that we do not talk as I am always to blame no matter what before it is over with.
I know I am not invited on his journey and I want to give him space, but even though he asks for the space, he does not want to give me my space either and I think wants to know that I am there waiting for him as he says things like "divorce is not permanent", "we could get back together after I iron out my problems". "I just need this divorce for boundaries right now".
I am going to have to have my boundaries too and I know it and he is not going to like it I guess, but as you have all told me and it has taken awhile to understand this, that until he really decides to get help, it will only get worse and I basically I guess just have to watch him hit rock bottom and hope that he comes back up out of it.
He told me today that he knows that I probably am the best thing that ever happened to him and he is just too stupid to understand it right now. He keeps looking deep into my eyes and stuff when we are talking like he wishes the could feel differently, but he can't and he just does not know how to feel and I of course cannot understand as easily, because although I understand what it is like to be abused, I never had the PTSD symptoms as he has now.
Thanks for listening and if you had similar feelings when going through the first part of this, please let me know. I would appreciate it.
dazed