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Deleted member 1860
Hi all,
Right now I'm struggling with letting go of a toxic relationship and I'm wondering if anyone else can relate.
I have a friend, well soon to be ex-friend whom I'll call "Mimi". (A pseudonym, given as she only thinks about "me-me-me") Anyway, Mimi and I have been friends since we were in middle school (We're both in our early thirties now). Our friendship has pretty much always been a struggle. However, things have recently taken a turn for the worst and i believe it is time for me to say goodbye to this friend.
I admit that I haven't always been the best of friends to her. I'm not claiming innocence or anything like that. When I get triggered I am quite reactive and sometimes say things that aren't so nice. She is a bit different in that she goes out of her way to be nasty to me and bring me down. I can forgive the nasty comments made to me, I just can't get over the fact that she feels the need to tell everyone how "horrible" I am. I don't bring anyone else into our fights. We have mutual friends, and the most I say is that we're struggling right now and I don't want to include them as I don't want to make others choose sides or feel awkward.
For example, last summer she set me up on dates with two of her friends. Dates, mind you, just dates! She gets mad at me for something or other and then goes and tells each of them that I'm seeing someone else behind their backs. Ok, they were just dates! I wasn't cheating on anyone, and there was no commitment. Well, the date with person "A" went nowhere as there just wasn't any chemistry, and person "B" just laughed and laughed about the BS drama that Mimi was trying to stir up.
And oh, it gets better. Mimi, being the typical me-me person, brags about everything she has. The money, the posh condo, spending the entire summer at a spa, and so on. The texts I got from her were ridiculous. I got sick of it and just snapped at her that I wasn't jealous of her because of where her money came from. Oh boy, that sent her over the edge. She bad mouthed me to everyone she knows and told me that people were going to come find me and kick my arse. (Yes, this is friendship at its deepest!)
So last week I got an apology from her, by text of course. My initial response was oh good, we can move forward on mending our friendship. But since then, I realize that its not possible at this point in time. She thinks everything is ok, I, on the other hand, am not so forgiving. Well, I don't hold those things she said to me against her, but I can't forgive her for telling people to beat me up! (It's a safety thing...I can't let go of people threatening my safety.)
I am to the point of actually being afraid of not being her friend because I see what she does once you get on her bad side. Isn't that sad? Don't get me wrong, I know I need to let things go, its just hard. And of course I feel guilt over moving on from a friendship I've had for more than half my life.
Sorry this is so long, but I really needed to get this out. In my heart I know what's best, I'm just struggling with getting there. Thanks for reading...
Right now I'm struggling with letting go of a toxic relationship and I'm wondering if anyone else can relate.
I have a friend, well soon to be ex-friend whom I'll call "Mimi". (A pseudonym, given as she only thinks about "me-me-me") Anyway, Mimi and I have been friends since we were in middle school (We're both in our early thirties now). Our friendship has pretty much always been a struggle. However, things have recently taken a turn for the worst and i believe it is time for me to say goodbye to this friend.
I admit that I haven't always been the best of friends to her. I'm not claiming innocence or anything like that. When I get triggered I am quite reactive and sometimes say things that aren't so nice. She is a bit different in that she goes out of her way to be nasty to me and bring me down. I can forgive the nasty comments made to me, I just can't get over the fact that she feels the need to tell everyone how "horrible" I am. I don't bring anyone else into our fights. We have mutual friends, and the most I say is that we're struggling right now and I don't want to include them as I don't want to make others choose sides or feel awkward.
For example, last summer she set me up on dates with two of her friends. Dates, mind you, just dates! She gets mad at me for something or other and then goes and tells each of them that I'm seeing someone else behind their backs. Ok, they were just dates! I wasn't cheating on anyone, and there was no commitment. Well, the date with person "A" went nowhere as there just wasn't any chemistry, and person "B" just laughed and laughed about the BS drama that Mimi was trying to stir up.
And oh, it gets better. Mimi, being the typical me-me person, brags about everything she has. The money, the posh condo, spending the entire summer at a spa, and so on. The texts I got from her were ridiculous. I got sick of it and just snapped at her that I wasn't jealous of her because of where her money came from. Oh boy, that sent her over the edge. She bad mouthed me to everyone she knows and told me that people were going to come find me and kick my arse. (Yes, this is friendship at its deepest!)
So last week I got an apology from her, by text of course. My initial response was oh good, we can move forward on mending our friendship. But since then, I realize that its not possible at this point in time. She thinks everything is ok, I, on the other hand, am not so forgiving. Well, I don't hold those things she said to me against her, but I can't forgive her for telling people to beat me up! (It's a safety thing...I can't let go of people threatening my safety.)
I am to the point of actually being afraid of not being her friend because I see what she does once you get on her bad side. Isn't that sad? Don't get me wrong, I know I need to let things go, its just hard. And of course I feel guilt over moving on from a friendship I've had for more than half my life.
Sorry this is so long, but I really needed to get this out. In my heart I know what's best, I'm just struggling with getting there. Thanks for reading...