I have not lived with my mother for 10 years, but she still has a hold on me. That is a lot of what I am trying to work on in therapy, but I feel like I am making no progress. :wall:Last night in therapy I guess I had what one might call a breakthrough. I realized that there has never to my recollection ever been a single time when I did something completely for myself. Everything I do, before I do it, I run as many scenarios about how it will affect other people. I always worry about other people, and not myself. I realize that some of this is due to the "training" my mother imposed upon me starting at a very very young age, that she was who was important not me. I know that I should try to start to learn to be able to do things just for me. Intellectually I know that does not mean I am selfish, but that is how it feels emotionally. My doctor said that I should try to think of it as advocating for myself, which has a much more positive connotation. I don't know how to start. I feel like I will never be free of my mother's control. Oh how I wish to be.