Recent content by Cerulean Synapse

I used to have an abusive ex with intermittent explosive disorder, anti social personality disorder and petit mal seizures. Look those disorders up he sought help at first but discontinued taking his meds so his rage came back and it was over nothing. I almost killed myself because I didn't know...

Well I have full blown DID. But after talking to my T and doing work with her I sometimes like you said feel like a kid again not in that since but really small and actually talk in a kid voice and act really immature. My husband thinks I am just being cute but I don't know I think it's just...

My Cervical Dystonia gets horrible during a flashback. I try to block it out with one of my alters. But my T wants to work with me not to integrate but to have others in charge so I know what's going on. Any kind of thing about my trauma that triggers me and I have to call it quits for hanging...

It's hard to celebrate our real birthday but Loni celebrates August 8 the day we got rid of our abusive ex that was trying to kill us.

Yup I switched as Sara not Sarah and Aris came out too.

We like our birthday because it's the day all of us were born. The main one is asleep. My husband doesn't know but he doesn't think to highly of DID. He thinks I will or one of us will stab him in his sleep. I told him not the case. Most DIDs peeps are pacifists and abhorr violence.

There is still also the fact that he knows my website. And I am afraid that he lurks on it frequently. I could get another domain name but I am not. They say stalkers will try to search you out through social media even after you have erased traces.

You know that is a good idea. I do put my account on private but I don't think that stops him from looking. Because friends of friends can still have him look. So I am am going to do that.

My ex traumatized me with various abusive circumstances such as battery, assault and rape. And he knew I had trauma issues already. He was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder which I guess means he can't control his impulses to explode and it was just a matter of time before he...

I have had the Old hag experience. But I was able to defend myself and call it off and scream from my third eye. It seemed to go away after that and I was able to move again.

Yes when I dissociate I have taken off my clothes. This happens sometimes depending who is out and what how and when the trigger is. I think it is because when you are dissociated everything feels like a big wad of cotton and you just want to get rid of it so off comes your clothes as well...

Wow I am astounded at how many people space out or zone out. There are so many ptsd suffers.

Ok so I go to a lot of AA meetings and the first thing they notice is that my eyes glaze over and somewhere in the middle I am truly in my past and I try to get out of it but it seems futile. They have to lightly tap me on the shoulder or say my name a lot of times before I answer. Even that is...

I had a weird dissociation episode at a christmas party and i have no idea why it appeared just that I knew that I was separate from my mind and my body. I know my body was going through the motions but I was unconscious of what was happening. It felt as though I was just a passenger. And then...

It does make sense. And has been taught, but there is just one or two that just like to tug bad like a dog that tugs really hard on a leash and you can't let that leash go or out they pop out. I am sure in due time they will certainly not tug as much and learn that someone is taking care of...