Charbella

Actually I question if that’s true. Nothing about our last appointment was that much different than the other ones. Wants me to live...

That’s fair. Maybe ask that they read this and Ask their thoughts on it...

Yes. It's very hard to believe it happened. If it's true - I'm sorry that all happened to you, and I hope you can get the real-life...

My understanding is the CPTSD isn’t a diagnosis. Is it possible your T is just trying to use the DSM book which doesn’t include it...

That’s a bizarre thing to say, since both daydreaming and meditation -and several other completely voluntary things, like professional...

I don’t know why this is suddenly bugging me but it is so I thought I’d ask. As a kid when things were happening with CSA I could...

Yes I do also. Which is why I chose work that didn't require it except privately, 1-on-1. And why I don't speak up about pain, or...

Yes I have this. Currently I deal with it mostly by fawning. Which is a way to push people away and remain in my fantasies. So not...

Yes. I was ridiculed or ignored if I expressed anything. Even mundane things. So when trauma happened: no words. Acting out in...

When I was a child, I had no words to explain what was going on. At times if I did, I was yelled at for being...

News to me. Also it is not in his policies, I just read over everything I signed. Letting him know I’m not okay could result in...

to be fair, i got into far less trouble after my brain did fall out, but it sure was scuffed and grimy after i decided to go back for...

It's really great you started this. And are open to hearing and thinking and trying different things, especially because it's a tough...

I mean an actual warning like leave a message or text that said he needed to know I was okay or he’d have to send out the cops for a...

OliveJewel lots to think about there. Honestly I’d never considered he’d do a welfare check. Some warning would’ve been nice. I e...

It’s not a belief it’s a fact. With CSA there isn’t a before, so no place to go back to. In my case I also don’t really have some if...

WELFARE CHECK!!! WTF apparently it’s not that hard to ask for a welfare check. I cancelled my appointment and hadn’t scheduled a new...

I was diagnosed when I was going through the court system for abuse. How you survive that without PTSD is beyond me. However I was also...

I often say our T’s should stop asking us how we’re feeling, or how our week was, and simply ask us to hand over our playlist! 🤣 One...

I've discovered the rapper Rod Wave recently, and I really like his songs. He has one song, "Sky Priority," that makes me cry whenever I...

I could contact my T he is very open to that but then I’d have to want to be better and I’m not there right now. the problem as with...

I’m truly sorry your in the thick of it. is there something that has worked for you in the past when you feel on edge? Any friends you...

Are you sure you want to self harm? How are you going to feel after you’ve done it? Will there be regret? Will you then have to...

Connecting with the body is a struggle. I totally understand the desire to be numb to that. On my opinion this gets worse before it gets...

It sounds like it feels scary to reach out, but I think Sideways mentioned trying to get an earlier apppintment too. Reaching out to...

That's such a helpful thing to highlight. (Helpful to me anyways!). The feelings, the fear, the unbearable nature is all consuming and...

I completely agree. You are not crossing a boundary. But it would help to clarify since they aren’t answering. I’m glad you next...

I’ve been struggling with SI for over a year, some days every open thought is of it and other days I just pray to not wake up. My T...

My T responds to emails and claims he’d respond to texts, I haven’t actually texted him. He’s encouraged me to for the self-harming but...

If you KNOW that going in, or think you should have known it even, seems like then you're not really "innocent", Which maybe is why I...

Personally I’ll take none of the above. Innocent- certainly not. I don’t even believe I was when it happened, I played a part...

Good, thought provoking question! Maybe my tendency is to think of "emotions" as "things that should be ignored". At least when they're...

I have no words of wisdom because I pretty much feel the same way you do. but I thought I’d let you know you aren’t the only one...

Thanks for your kindness. I’ve made peace with not knowing, I wish I could just ensure that I keep not knowing! Memories peeling...

I’m afraid that if I continue therapy I will learn something I don’t want to. I‘ve been sexually abused by 5 people that I know of...

Seems like if her dad was in the room asking it directly would result in most girls automatic no response especially if dad had done it...

With 1 in 4 girls being sexually abused or assaulted plus your state of anxiety, I don't think it is odd at all.

Barefoot I think you might need her to let you talk through it where she responds. Not just an apology but some reasoning as to why it...

The weird thing is the sessions themselves are pretty much the same, fairly intense. It’s the after affects that have gotten better...

I was going to post a similar question, so this might be in the wrong spot. Do you find the aftermath to be getting better? The...

ditto for mini-me. i get lost when i attempt to analyze and/or name the p's and q's of these psychotic episodes. flashback...

I hope I get to the point you guys are at that I can just roll with what they send me. For the record I admire your compassion because...

@arfie- I guess your right it is the dark side of something that when it’s working I do feel it’s a good thing. @Friday- I have been...

posilutely, i do something similar. i've never done emdr, so i am not sure we are speaking of the same phenom, but in my own case, i...

I make some pretty big distinctions between - Agreeing to do something - Obligating myself to do something - Promising to do something...

Totally agree! I have friends but if you never let them know what your going through they can’t support you and I haven’t. How about...

Thanks for the words of encouragement. My parents obviously left me to do a lot, I thought I had autonomy, the more I pull back the...

I’ve been seeing my therapist for a year and I really like him. We’ve done some EMDR and some has had some success but it seems when we...

Blaming ourselves is part of the pathology of complex trauma. There's different theories about why we blame ourselves (eg. Because it...

hello charbella. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. your shrink's suggestion of spending more...