Corvidcore34

Lately I have been feeling extremely down if I'm being honest, and I could blame it a lot on other people and circumstances, but it has...

For the last month I've been having trouble sleeping, where I will have constant nightmares or even sleep paralysis and wake up every...

I have in my life only had a couple relationships, during both of these (one of which was in my later teens and one in the past couple...

I was blessed. I had a grandfather (the only grandparent I had) that loved me. I modelled much on him. I also loved my children. I...

yes, it sounds stupid, but so do a considerable number of our cultural realities. have you seen some of the ways we torture and lie to...

As someone who feel like they have to be 100% presentable, covered up and clean or else feels extremely disgusting I relate to this a...

Yep, me too. It sucks

Good advice above. I also day dream like that and make up events in my head about being raped again and what would happen, or something...

I know this sounds stupid but I think I have no concept of what love is at all or how does it feels like. Not only romantic but any kind...

Yep yep. Super common phenomenon. The technical terms are Intrusive Thoughts and Rumination, and/or ruminating on intrusive thoughts...

i have. i suffered full trauma induced amnesia when i started therapy in 1972. emergent memories are extremely vulnerable to the power...

I needed to hear this. I thought that maybe because they happen so suddenly I will just have to learn to live with them from now on...

So instead of having flashbacks like used to have, lately I have been having scenarios play out in my mind of my abuser harming me...

Yep...guru taught me the same thing. Get up and look for the threat Hed say,, "Don't bother checking windows and doors more than once...

I'm sorry that sounds very difficult to live like that. How old are you? Is there a plan you can put in place to move out if you are an...

personally, i find it much easier to establish my escape routes on the good days. mother may not be in crisis today, but the pattern...

That’s very much my mother, minus the abuse; and to a large extent most of my extended family, as well. There’s a communal property &...

I completely agree with you, I just don't know what measures to do. I feel like when I finally tell anyone what happened, what it made...

She just doesn't know any boundaries, that's why I started writting here (she is bad with technology). I used to have a dairy but once...

oh good I am glad. no worries. here anytime to talk

could you be hiding on the wrong side of the door? just wondering. . . for sure, when my roommates get on my nerves, i hide in the big...

Thank you for answering me :) Right now my mother isn't on a crisis, so there isn't really much to hide from, I just was on fight or...

I think I'm finally starting to calm down thank you so much for your help :) I don't know why this happened to me, ever since I realized...

oh, that sounds so stressful. what do you like to do in your room? to enjoy?

I'm never good at calming myself but I'm going to try. I need to calm down I'm so scared

I just want to lock my door, all I wish is to be able to lock my door, I feel so nervous that my mom might enter, I don't know why, I'm...

Thank you for worrying about me :) I have found some but I'm scared to call to be honest. I'm scared of being misinterpreted and have my...

i use evasive tactics. my aversion to touch is harsh enough that i can spot a hug coming before the hugger knows it, themselves. i...

Say you're experiemce some kind of sensitivity issue, where skin on skin touch feels uncomfortable, which is true without talking of the...

Have your mates said it bothers them or you just worried that it does? I think most people get "aw I'm not much of a hugger" n don't...

Thank you all for your answers :) I live in Mexico, so people tend to be a little touchy here haha, but I will try to say others that it...

Ever since I was abused I hate being touched. This only happens if their skin touches mine, if I'm wearing clothes where they touch me...

No need to apologise. It’s a difficult & complex situation.

- Some people honestly don’t remember anything during certain kinds of psych episodes (like bipolar manias/mixed episodes, schizophrenic...

This I think is key. I have had both admission and denial from people. The admission was partial and tried to blame me nonetheless (...

Why would you trust the person who abused you to tell the truth about it? What would it accomplish for you if she did?

Tricky. Why would an abuser admit to abusing you? Brave of you to ask. What do you want to do: do you want to believe her or is...

I'm not sure since I live in Mexico, but I will look for them, thanks :)

Thank you all for your answers :) Since I realized that I experienced sexual assault when I was 10 by my mother during one of her crisis...

Thank you for answering me, sorry for not explaining well I didn't ask her directly if she had committed the abuse but the topic came...

She didn't said explicitly that she doesn't remember the assault, but it happened while she was on a crisis and she says she doesn't...

So basically my abuser was my mother, which I'm living with right now and since I'm not allowed to do anything on my own there is no way...