Givrali

2.47am

I'll never to be able to resume all of it to my therapist and I'm not sure she understands English especially when it's a non native...

I'll let myself a chance to go sleeping soon by doing my phone game and checking social media

Young green heron. The first I've seen this season.

About being used to talk about mental illness it has its own story not sure I'll write it this night because I'll soon be 2am

It's been about 10 years since my father got cancer and I completely lost ability to be more than trauma

I know I'm missing most my childhood memories but I really feel like I never got a chance to be living a life and not dealing with...

It's not a life. It's not living

I can only pretend everything is alright or being focused on every dark aspect of my life

She only went on my town once very recently. Almost every times if not every other times we were at her town. We live at like ten...

We also talk about future. What we are doing at ergotherapy hobbies relationships with family without trauma related topics. We watched...

While we always talk about trauma and mental health problems from it I do my best to not only do that. It's hard for me to not think...

I have no doubt about she was dealing with everything long before I was here. But I need to be helpful when someone seems to need help...

I judge her ptsd is worse than mine. She also had addictions but took care of them by the time we meet but she doesn't feel right with...

Sometimes I directly ask her how she's dealing at the moment and she always is honest with me. If she resist talking I would immediately...

She both want to never talk about what she's dealing with and what she suffered from her brother and accepting to talk about it if I...

Recently I learned she was considering getting to hospital by her Instagram. I told her I wanted to be informed if she go there because...

I really loved her. I immediately did my best to support her like I'm used to do in internet and guessing by her saying and her behavior...

I first befriend her because I was feeling lonely being rejected by our common cousin and living far from my friends. Then because I was...

I knew by my grand mother she was having got through abuse by her brother (yes similarities) but developed full life imparing eating...

About three years ago my cousin took the initiative to come to me because after his divorce her father started dating some other woman...

I really interacted with her about 10 years ago and stupidly was thinking she was close to my childhood friend cousin because they were...

By my grand mother i heard his brother mistreated her to the point she dropped school because she couldn't hold more herself

Her dad has a reputation to be mean and sociopathic like in my family. I learned few years ago he raped my mother who was his twin sister

I heard things I first didn't connect with her and her family and just thought: good I never was close of my uncle

In my childhood and.. teenager hood ? I barley knew she was existing. I more of less was knowing she was my cousin but interacted with...

I'm uneasy with my cousin because various reasons I'll all share here

I mentioned my cousin in an another thread here. Actually I have like 10 cousins it's just I only consider one as family these last...

Feel the need to say as much as I cab today about trauma related stuff so I'll keep writing

Maybe we're all here because our close people couldn't take care of us

To be fair only one person here get regular visit of their family. Even me who has good contacts with friends who doesn't mind my...

My therapist seemed to be sure what kind of person she is and rightfully guessed her family ( she's grandmother) never visit her

She splitted the residents in two groups. At least one resident is afraid of her (in addition to me I mean) one another feel insecure...

My ergo thinks my group home enemy actually feels bad about me leaving if not because she got attached to me because she hate this place...

T-shirt

We're now in my narrative. What a day !

I ate the cheesecake one portion part I bought to fill more myself because the rest wasn't better as meal if not worse

Because the extreme state I was in I only eat a ok amount of junk food then made my room optimal to sleep. I thought I only needed one...

After that I was very decided to punish myself for my wrongs but I said I was going to do important things so I kept insulting and...

I have medical trauma from 4yo and a sight as common as someone in a wheelchair disturb me in a normal day. I was being very stressed...

Also so today I got triggered at occupational work

Few weeks ago she complained I was acting erratic and loudly. Well moving is stressful for healthy people so for a ptsd and autistic...

We all here because mental health problems !!! She still loudly complains of acts from mental health problems anyways

We're 8 resident living together and this resident went as far as splitting the group in two one composed of her friends the other of...

So in my group home there is this person who can't stand SEEING ME anymore and would be mean to me sometimes for little to no real...

It was more putting food in my belly in hope to feel better than real meal. I eat ok-about food and ice cream. Then group home kept me...

Extremely fragile. Exhaustion beyond the max, stress beyond the max, anxious beyond the max. And that's after calming down and sleeping...

Never understood what it really means and way too unwell to put energy in that. So it will just be a guess. My mother was raped by her...

Joking with my two notreallyfriendsbutcloseenoughttofeellikethatwhenwerretogheter If you can't read it almost friends I guess

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