Recent content by KvE

  1. K

    Don't Even Want To Be Happy Anymore.

    Cymbalta is a pain to start and stop. So I don't feel that great right now. I have a therapist I started seeing him twice a week about a month ago because the nightmares and flashbacks were getting worse. I didn't see him at all last week because "I was to depressed to go to therapy." Has to be...
  2. K

    Don't Even Want To Be Happy Anymore.

    Thanks. I think I am going to start taking my Cymbalta again. My little brother(20) lives with me and we had a long talk. I don't care when my depression only effects me but now it's making my brother sad. He also has CPTSD like me. We went through a lot of the stuff together as kids. I tried to...
  3. K

    The fourteen day challenge

    I am still on day one
  4. K

    Sufferer Childhood Abuse- Complex Ptsd/disassociative Disorder

    Welcome. I also have CPTSD from childhood abuse. This place is awesome. I hope you like it here.
  5. K

    Don't Even Want To Be Happy Anymore.

    Thanks a lot. I like that diamond quote. I use to be able to believe that. After I turned 18 I had a rough year until I got it together so I could take care of my younger brother and sister. No matter how bad stuff got I stayed positive for them. They were teenagers at the time 15 and 16. I use...
  6. K

    Don't Even Want To Be Happy Anymore.

    I don't even want to be happy anymore. Being happy, having a really good day just makes me feel that much worse when everything comes crumbling apart again. Everything crumbles and crashes down and I always make the mistake of trying to make everything okay again. Then once everything is okay...
  7. K

    The fourteen day challenge

    Day 1 again. Was doing okay for the first part of the day. Got a call from my cousin out of state, my biological father and my grandmother had come over and asked her to call me so they could talk to me. Long story short it went really bad. He is the one that hurt me when I was a kid. I drank a...
  8. K

    The fourteen day challenge

    Day one didn't go so great for me. I knew I was mean to myself but I guess I didn't realize how mean I was to myself until I started to pay attention. Because of the amount of times I had to restart day one I started to make a list. I wrote down the negative thought that caused me to restart and...
  9. K

    The fourteen day challenge

    I am so in. I am a competitive person so this might do me a lot of good. Kylie vs. Brain, Day 1 is a go.
  10. K

    Why Don't You Smile?

    "You were such a happy baby. What happened?" I hate that. My grandmom will say that to me. Its hard to talk to her because my dad lives with her. I told her in a family therapy session once and she accused the therapist of brainwashing me into thinking that my dad would ever hurt me. She...
  11. K

    When I Get Angry Or Upset I Punch Myself

    My two things have always been cutting and punching. It was a joke when I was a kid. They called me hamburger hands because I would beat the wall until my hand was bruised and swollen and broken. I am not sure why they thought my hands looked like hamburgers cause I didn't and it only made me...
  12. K

    Nightmares Every Time I Close My Eyes.

    I fall asleep for maybe an hour or two and wake up because of a horrible nightmare. I haven't slept for more than an hour or two for almost a week now. Some of the nightmares are bad. They end with people getting shot or killed and dying before I get shot or killed and die. Some are completely...
  13. K

    Horrible Experience After Surgery

    I think I may have found one that could help. I hope so. I have a meeting with them and they said that basically we would put a written plan in place that the surgeon would sign before surgery that would be in my chart without disclosing all of the trauma involved. I did end up just copying what...
  14. K

    Do You Tell Your Therapist How Bad You Feel?

    I also often write my therapist an email. It really helps because then I am getting it out there and I don't have to worry about forgetting it because he will bring it up. I will normally write him the day before my session and be like these are the things I need to talk about. I also see him...
  15. K

    PTSD And Prazosin

    I started with 2-4mg a night. Doc said to take 2mg wait an hour if still awake take another one. Then because of the nightmares getting really bad he upped it to 6mg at the same time. My resting blood pressure was very low before prazosin so I am suppose to take my blood pressure and record it...
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