PreciousChild

In the first month or so of my dating my current bf, there was one night that he came on real strong. At that point I wasn't ready, and...

Some people might prefer to date those who are aware of and working on their problems rather than people who are unaware and not...

i flat-out refused to date for all the reasons you just listed, plus a basketful. i had no plans to marry for all the same reasons. my...

I did it! I practiced saying the words that you gave me @coraxxx and then I said them at what felt like a good moment. And I used the...

Hi Mabel, I feel compelled to respond as your story reminds me a bit of my own codependent former marriage and you were asking for more...

I think that's right. I'm lately aware that pain and hurt are at the core of a lot of destructive behaviors. But when we experience...

I feel like it's because they are so layered and enmeshed with how we've learned to relate to others...Often it seems these toxic core...

ouchie. . . awkward personified, especially in the academic scene. as one who was always the new kid on the block during my academic...

Losing my friends and my support group at school is so f*cking awkward. I feel like I can't breathe they didn't even look at me I just...

That's a great teaching technique. I guess all memory is somewhat bodily. By the way, I'm sorry to hear about your past as a child...

My original trauma is very like that. Both eyes were bandaged. I have a general sense of what went on outside of the actual trauma...

cognition uses cellular memory. as an ESL teacher, i incorporate cognitive memory into my lessons by standing and having my students...

There is a point in my memories of both traumas where memory "shatters" for want of a better word. There are bits and pieces, nothing...

That's right. That's another thing that I can relate to that van der Kolk talks about - the fragmentation of the re-experience. There's...

Yes @PreciousChild it does go along with it I think, very much so. To ask (and be able to ask), to trust someone enough and feel...

The way I see being triggered and going back to 'back then' is exactly how you describe it. And it totally overwhelms and consumes...

i am currently wondering if a memory is just a memory and the difference between a flashback and nostalgia is how i react. the harder i...

Thanks all for your thoughtful responses. First of all, it's just nice knowing that I'm not the only one this is happening to. This is...

Helpful information—I was not aware Reality of shame, fear, and hurt? These happen whether the event is current or remembered. The...

Thanks @Rosebud. So trust and stop. I do think I've healed a lot from having my boyfriend give me what I need in this, concrete reality...

I saw this and thought on it, because it's instictive to say ground and reason logically. But because it's also so emotional, one thinks...

Thanks @StillPen. Exactly: Even after thinking that I had become aware of and dealt with the internal dimensions of "reality" when I'm...

Same, you just wrote my book...for me add self-hatred, paralyzing fear, a sense of 'no way out' an overwhelming urge to run, and an all...

In Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk describes the re-experience of trauma as being timeless. If I remember correctly, when we're...

I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he said he’s taking me out to dinner. He’s also told me recently that he wants to propose to me…...

Would it help to know that the vast majority of people -and everyone I’ve ever personally known- organize their own birthdays nearly...

Maybe "safe" is over rated. I don't EVER remember feeling "safe". In fact, it seems like "feeling safe" means I'm missing something...

for me, the hyper-vigilance which keeps me feeling forever threatened is only one factor in my compulsive isolating. i learned how to...

Dark Triad sounds very much like my x husband. IDK what his fave superhero was but I definitely think that his early days growing up as...

So here is a pattern. I realized I was something other than what I was presenting and that my behavior was mostly out of my own...