Sweetpea76

Sometimes they’re just not healthy enough for a relationship. Love has nothing to do with it. She can love you and still not be able to...

If you need more contact in a relationship then that is valid. He cannot give you what you need, and he’s not the man for you. Being...

If she doesn’t want to see or talk to you I’d move on.

I wouldn’t assume he has PTSD until he is diagnosed. PTSD is from a very specific kind of trauma, and even if something is horrible it...

Has he been evaluated and diagnosed?

If you like actions think about this… It would be easier for her mentally to just cut you loose and be alone. She is sticking around in...

You’re going to have to decide if you want to live like this forever, because if this is how she handles stressors she is going to do...

Lurking darkness update: a massive lynchpin moment during childhood was processed during EMDR. Leaving them to recover right now, but...

It’s not going to make sense to anybody but her. It’s the push/pull. I’d just follow her lead. It also couldn’t hurt to just ask her...

My advice? Leave him alone, give him some space. Imagine you are sick with a stomach bug, and you’re vomiting your guts out… and your...

Not a chance. There will be nothing quick about her recovery. PTSD will often come with a list of comorbid disorders, all interacting...

It’s the all-around wallowing. I can see that.

PTSD doesn’t cause anybody to raise their fists and beat somebody. It’s a broken stress response. How somebody reacts to that stress is...

Easily. Alcohol alone can & does cause blackouts. No PTSD necessary. Not remembering it happened doesn’t mean it did not happen.

They know who they’re talking to… or rather, who they are avoiding. It’s not a delusion, it’s a coping mechanism to avoid stressors...

Honestly, I don’t think I make my vet feel “safe.” There are times when my vet thinks I’m very unsafe just because he loves me and it...

Here’s the thing though… you can’t make her feel safe. She has PTSD, so she is going to feel unsafe regardless. It is a difficult...

You are not responsible for managing her mental health. The sad thing is *everything* you do will be “wrong” when she’s in a state...

The question is why would *you* want to do this to yourself. If her go-to response when she’s stressed is to call the cops on you, *you*...

You’re going to be disappointed if he is still ghosting during your birthday… there is no managing that. That’s an asshole thing to do...

Couldn’t have said it better. I just wish I took her more seriously when she disclosed her diagnosis to me when we got into a serious...

The education you never knew you didn’t want.

I’m sorry… I know it’s hard. Has she stopped talking divorce?

It’s not a rule for him, it’s a rule for me. I can’t control anybody but myself. He’s going to do what he’s going to do. I will move...

Trauma therapy is rough. It makes things worse before it gets better. Getting therapy for yourself is a very good idea, because this is...

Hell no… might as punch yourself in the face. I can’t remember, is she treated right now? Or is she off the rails and untreated?

I just tell people he’s sick. They figured it out on their own. My partner is an obviously disabled vet though, so it wasn’t hard to...

I don’t know about triggered, but my partner has long periods of time when he is highly symptomatic. I don’t see that going well…...

It’s OK not to be OK with the isolation if you need a lot of contact. People need different things in relationships to be happy. You...

Who knows what common is? There really is no rhyme or reason to it. Everybody has their own individual quirks. With that being said, my...

I don’t take it personally because I understand it is a coping mechanism. He is in survival mode. He can’t think past surviving. Here...

We’ve been together ten years, and we still have sex. Sometimes I think he uses it as a distraction or to help him sleep. However there...

He was an ass… PTSD be damned.

Hell no. It’s been ten years and he still isolates. The thing that makes it better is me not taking it personally. I’m not upset if he...

I’d chalk it up to straight up panic when things got real. It’s easy to talk about moving across the world when borders are closed...

I think one of the cruelest things about PTSD is the ability to mask during the honeymoon phase. You have no idea what PTSD really is...

Whether he knows or doesn’t know it’s PTSD doesn’t mean he could stop the behavior. He’s going to do what he’s going to do to cope...

Ok. I’m an actual supporter dealing with this from the same side. My partner is an isolator too, and that shit is for the birds in the...

You’re trying to rationalize the irrational. He has a mental illness, and you cannot logic that away. That is the answer you’re...

Is isolation common? Oh yeah. It’s a coping mechanism. You’re allowed to be irritated about it, and there is nothing wrong with telling...

It’s exhausting… I’m sorry he did this to you. It sucks when it comes out of nowhere.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/important-supporter-information.36057/ The links in the above post are a fantastic place to start!

That’s all well and good, but let’s not lose focus. In this part of the forum, we worry about the supporter’s well being. The focus is...

OP hasn’t been here for almost a year, but she mentioned that her husband’s behaviors were related to his trauma history, and that he...

Does it matter *why* she is doing this more than the fact that she *is* doing it at all? This is a huge supporter trap. “Our poor...