Powerful sentiments. Thank you for sharing. I agree. We are all human and should embrace or imperfections instead of continuing on our false journey towards some "perfection."
You partner might also have a high level of narcissistic tendencies (covert) which might also explain why it's hard for you to understand why he would do something like this (you don't understand because you're able to empathize)
I'm really sorry you're going through this. This confusion must be gut wrenching. Do you think you've been trauma bonded? Also, it's common for us with ptsd/cptsd to exhibit a lot of narcissistic tendencies especially when we are dis-regulated and/or have not taken steps to begin our healing...
I’m in a men’s group. Our T had us name 2 people we promised to call if/when suicide ideation re-emerges - it was a oct we made with one another. Once you name your 2, it’s easier to go to them and say “hey, congratulations you’re listed in my plan and this is what I need from you, if/when I...
I agree with @Larrikin and although it’s commendable that you’re trying to be very understanding about your husbands needs, you have needs too. And, if your needs go unrealized you’re going to find yourself in a miserable situation. Boundaries are going to be your biggest ally getting through...
Have you ever read literature regarding narcissisism (covert) and gaslighting? Does any of it resonate? Because you have both ptsd and “people pleasing” tendencies, you would have a lot of empathetic and understanding friends on this forum if you were to start believing/ wondering that your...
I’m judging here but I read your story and saw more red flags than just your drunken friend’s sexual abuse. If I had my way, you would print out your post, put a copy in your journal, continue seeing a therapist to help heal your cptsd, and then in 1-2 years revisit your post and note your...
Forgiveness for me didn’t happen until I began to become aware of how “broken” I was and how my brokenness altered the way that I behaved towards other and how my behaviors were toxic and abusive. With that awareness it became easier to understand how “broken” my abusers were and how they, like...
I hear you flubber and understand. You are not alone. Do you have a support system (a group of people or a friend) that can follow along on your journey? If so, they will be essential for your healing. If not, grab the closest person to you and say “this is going to be weird, but I need you by...
This is a really tricky situation you are in. On the one hand, your therapist might not be good for you. On the other hand, you might be perceiving your therapist as not good because you have CPTSD and, therefore, you have a "perception" problem. Your gut/body is stuck in your trauma and can't...
Your husband sounds emotionally unavailable - if not in general than certainly with this issue. It’s possible that your inside/outside world is triggering him and he has no capacity or awareness for what he’s feeling so, he blames/abuses/undermines you to cope with his feelings. In this way, he...