Yusuke22

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When my blood pressure gets really high and the chest pain becomes too much, I think a lot about death. About what I’m wasting the...

Covid is really isolating. He’s the only person I know IRL who is still taking it seriously. Being queer and not covid-ignorant in a...

I don’t think he hurts me on purpose. I think he hurts me to avoid dealing with his own stuff. I think I’ve likely done the same to him...

Guy reads my journal when I’m sleeping and monitors my activity on here, but I’m supposed to feel bad for checking his Instagram (from...

Now he’s playing victim. Hurts me in bed, ignores me when I say no and stop, blames me for it, punishes me for it, but he’s the victim...

Work is slow today. I should be using the time to work on my performance appraisal that’s due by Friday. Can’t focus on it, though. My...

This false narrative he pushes, that the abuse I’ve endured is the cause of most of our issues, has forced that abuse to be front and...

Two years of being overwhelmed by him during sex and the whole time he’s been blaming my sexual trauma for it. Telling me I just need to...

He ignored me for 8 days after yelling at me for not being active enough during sex while I was in a neck brace. First he ignored me...

I’m not lazy or bad in bed. Lack of intimacy is actually one of the more common reasons that adhd relationships end. I can’t be exciting...

When I had pink hair, he told me he didn’t like it. That I shouldn’t dye it again. And so I didn’t. Before we ever even met, I was...

Everything hurts. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Feels like I’ve spent the last 20 years waiting for the people I love to stop running and numbing. Using their refusal to grow as an...

*some things have changed. I’m working about 3 times as much as I was working 6 months ago. I’m stretching myself thinner and getting...

Got in shit at work today. For something I screwed up in March. Checked my journal to see what was happening in my life at the time...

I feel like I might as well be a robot. I could work and make people cum and have no annoying needs to be ignored and dismissed in between.

More tired and sad today than numb. Arms feel heavy and bruised. Can’t concentrate on work. I miss him. I want him to want to stay, but...

I thought not being alone would make life easier. That two adults sharing the responsibilities would be better than handling them all on...

Two years ago I was a different person. I was happy. My daughter was happy. We had a good relationship. I was healthy. I slept...

Numbing myself and dissociating feels like the only way to make living somewhat bearable right now. When I start to feel comfortable and...

Lost track of how many meltdowns I’ve had this week. I think it’s 4. Maybe 5. Nothing’s okay. My weekend just disappeared. Didn’t do...

Started a letter to my daughter. She’s 14. I just want to leave. To not be in pain anymore. I don’t know how to minimize the impact on...

I don’t want to get up. I’m just lying here hoping I finally have a heart attack so I can stop trying.

Not enough sleep for the second night in a row means I’m falling apart before I even get up. Stomachache, headache, high blood pressure...

He told me I needed space after sex didn’t work out, then ran away upstairs, took over the bedroom and fell asleep. Wasn’t about what I...

It’s not my fault. No more than it’s his fault when he stumbles into my triggers. We both take things personally that have nothing to do...

I know he’s leaving because it’s the easier option. Detachment and avoidance are how he deals with the difficult parts of life. I wanted...

Mornings are really difficult. I wake up from not enough sleep, but I can’t fall back asleep quickly enough. I remember that he’s...

That’s not okay. Introducing a safe word doesn’t mean that other forms of communication about what’s okay become irrelevant. Safe...

Safe words are for unexpected triggers and for things you’ve given prior consent to, but may change your mind about in the moment. If...

I was recently in a sort of similar-ish situation... Very complicated, to I'll spare you the details... I was scared of the empty house...

My partner and I are breaking up. I’m feeling a lot of different ways about it. Part of me is relieved. It’s been a roller coaster, so...

It’s a big deal for me, too. I’ve gotten really good at managing most of the triggers that come up during sex. Being ignored when I say...

His parents are coming for a visit today. They don’t live nearby. I haven’t seen them in about a year and a half. Only met them a few...

Both 🙃

I don’t think you’re a bad friend for expressing concern. I prefer direct communication like that myself. Complaining about your child...

I made a really big mistake this week. I think it might be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. We were arguing about something...