Hello,
I am new to this forum so I am trying to figure out how things work here. But I hope that there have to be some people who understand what I mean. First I should warn you about my bad english;-)
I don´t really know how to start. I started to have those dissociative seizures when I was still stuck in this "bad situation". There are a lot more crazy things that happened in my mind while I was in that situation but I do not think that I noticed it back then because I just had to survive the years. I am not able to "really look back" without getting lost in a flashback and I really do not remember a LOT which scares me. Sometimes parts come back and I really do not know how to deal with it. And I am scared what happed to me that I do not remember. (I hope that you get what I am trying to say, I think it is really messed up but I am trying to get a little bit out) That is actually nothing I was planning to write.
I am really scared. I think I am going crazy right now. I got out of this situation half a year ago and the crazy stuff gets worse and I think I am losing my mind totally. I have these seizures almost every day and most of the times it is like a flashback (I totally blank out, fall to the ground and every part of my body "shakes" and most of the times I am back there) I was told that these seizures are called "dissociative seizures" but no one can tell me how to deal with it. I was in a psych hospital for a few weeks and they just told me that I should be able to controll it. But I really can not and I do not know how to do it. When I do not learn to handle this I will be kicked out of my school and my home (because I can not live at my parents house the youth office put me into a home for girls but I just turned 18 so they can kick me out aswell and they told me that they would do this)
Sometimes I notice when I am about to dissociate in a not seizure way...but I fail at the seizures and a lot of times also with the other dissociative stuff. I know this is not very specified but I do not know what really happens to me.
I am scared of myself because I forget a lot. Sometimes a whole week is lost. I know that I forget a lot related to this situation but it can not be normal to forget so much even though I am "safe" (I do not feel very safe, but I am safer, he does not know where I am at least) And I wrote songs that I definately did not write. I write a lot of songs but they are all kind of the "same style", my style...I am just so confused. There are so much more things but I think I should stop now.
I am going crazy. What happens to me???
Does anyone know how to deal with it?
Oh god I do not know what to do.
I hope you know what I mean.
Greetings,
Jazzé
I am new to this forum so I am trying to figure out how things work here. But I hope that there have to be some people who understand what I mean. First I should warn you about my bad english;-)
I don´t really know how to start. I started to have those dissociative seizures when I was still stuck in this "bad situation". There are a lot more crazy things that happened in my mind while I was in that situation but I do not think that I noticed it back then because I just had to survive the years. I am not able to "really look back" without getting lost in a flashback and I really do not remember a LOT which scares me. Sometimes parts come back and I really do not know how to deal with it. And I am scared what happed to me that I do not remember. (I hope that you get what I am trying to say, I think it is really messed up but I am trying to get a little bit out) That is actually nothing I was planning to write.
I am really scared. I think I am going crazy right now. I got out of this situation half a year ago and the crazy stuff gets worse and I think I am losing my mind totally. I have these seizures almost every day and most of the times it is like a flashback (I totally blank out, fall to the ground and every part of my body "shakes" and most of the times I am back there) I was told that these seizures are called "dissociative seizures" but no one can tell me how to deal with it. I was in a psych hospital for a few weeks and they just told me that I should be able to controll it. But I really can not and I do not know how to do it. When I do not learn to handle this I will be kicked out of my school and my home (because I can not live at my parents house the youth office put me into a home for girls but I just turned 18 so they can kick me out aswell and they told me that they would do this)
Sometimes I notice when I am about to dissociate in a not seizure way...but I fail at the seizures and a lot of times also with the other dissociative stuff. I know this is not very specified but I do not know what really happens to me.
I am scared of myself because I forget a lot. Sometimes a whole week is lost. I know that I forget a lot related to this situation but it can not be normal to forget so much even though I am "safe" (I do not feel very safe, but I am safer, he does not know where I am at least) And I wrote songs that I definately did not write. I write a lot of songs but they are all kind of the "same style", my style...I am just so confused. There are so much more things but I think I should stop now.
I am going crazy. What happens to me???
Does anyone know how to deal with it?
Oh god I do not know what to do.
I hope you know what I mean.
Greetings,
Jazzé