• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Childhood Raised by narcissistic father and enabling mother...

Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Deckland

At times I think I wish they would have just beat the hell out of me...

Instead, it was this emotional maze where you never knew what or when you were going to get berated and belittled. There was no love or empathy. I think I blocked out a lot...my only memories are when I got away from that house. It was like being able to breath.

The worst part was being broken down to the point I became this lapdog, fueling my dads ego, mediating issues between parents. I wanted to believe that if I was good enough he’d stop.

Then I grew up and realized it was all about him. That everything was lies to make himself seem important.

I walked away, but the effects on trust and relationships as an adult have been hell.
 
I'm sorry you went through that and glad you are here today to tell your story. My mom is a narcissist and my father is an enabler. It took a while to accept that about them. The only thing I could do was set boundaries, whether that was physically moving far away or cutting any interaction really short. I still struggle with trusting people and there are assholes out there, but there are also good people too.
 
Sorry @deckland . I don't know what this stuff does to a person but I am in a situation that echoes your and the others posting here. I have yet to understand or even label my parent's (mother) issues but I can only deal with so much, you know . I'm trying to deal with my EMDR for the arson.

I just don't know what to do with the feeling that my mother shows narcissistic or borderline symptoms or whatever. All I know is that I have suffered because of it. I now cut her off emotionally . I mean that she no longer has access to me emotionally. I'm protecting myself from her.

Not sure if that helps.
 
My mother was the narcissist and my stepdad tried to "rescue" me many times and got her wrath as well. My oldest brother is a narcissist as well. No one rescued me from him. My T of years ago suggested I "divorce" myself from our family. That "divorce" began in 1988 and deepened over the years. It was the best and most difficult decision in my life. Yet without it I couldn't have started to heal from all the years of abuse my mother perpetrated on me. As well my bioFather was a pedophile, psychopath, narcissist, and serial killer. What a motley crew, huh?

There is a great info site on narcissism: What it can do to you and how to deal with the after effects of living with a family member with it. It's called Out of the FOG. I would liken my childhood to living in a fog. The website covers all personality disorders.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top