• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Strategies for driving to daughters wedding

Status
Not open for further replies.
To be honest, I never took interest with the live function. I think my Nikon is far superior to a cell phone camera. It’s much better in low light conditions.
@Living in the 70s thanks for the advice. I remember some of us studied the self compassion writings of Neff. It will be something to study on the way to PA. I was feeling guilty for not taking more time off to travel with my daughter ahead of the wedding, but that guilt was replaced by gratitude after she asked me to go to Portland for a nice guest book and pens as well as champagne from Trader Joe’s. She’s out in the boondocks, so I’m glad I could help her from afar.
One of my friends was pretty hard on me for not having the instinct to be “the mother of the bride” and my job is to “be there to support the bride”. That hurt my feelings. But this is an example of how my PTSD is misunderstood by people. Obviously, I am very supportive of my daughter and to suggest that I’m unworthy misses the point. I dissociate frequently and groups of large people are very difficult for me. I worry that my forgetfulness will embarrass my daughter. Then add to that my chemical sensitivity, I am vulnerable to all sorts of triggers.
The after party is going to be hot dogs and s’mores around a campfire. That sounds fun but it won’t take place until after midnight. For her part, my daughter has always been interested in my PTSD. She knows the smoke will be dangerous for me. As long as I can try to be grounded I think I’ll make it. My Shaman is in Spain on vacation. Ugh I am so overwhelmed, I just hope I will pull it off. That I can be a positive support for her.
 
@Mach123 good luck on your journey. You have a long trip. At least I will be mostly driving through New England where I’m comfortable. A five hour drive with a very good friend who does not judge me. She’s planning to go to bed at 9:00!!!
 
I may get out of it or at least postpone it indefinitely. I'm going to take a shot at it this morning. I really don't want to go and since I agreed, which I didn't do willingly, circumstances have changed and I just don't think I can do it right now. I know I don't want to. The last couple years I just got so much better and traveling has been fun. Driving 8 hours and sleeping in hotels is nothing to me anymore. The way I used to be it was impossible. The anxiety just wouldn't let me do anything. The anxiety I have now is real lol so, I'm going to see if we can rethink things today. : )
 
I keep having this recurring thought that once my daughter is married, then I’ll have a nervous breakdown. Part of my coping with PTSD has always been “my children need me to be strong” now that she’ll be married (even though she’s been with her fiancé for 10 years) I won’t be needed anymore.

IDK maybe I am a nervous breakdown pretending not to be.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
One of my friends was pretty hard on me for not having the instinct to be “the mother of the bride” and my job is to “be there to support the bride”. That hurt my feelings.

I'd like to know what that 'instinct' looks like. You are planning to do your best...what else are you not doing?? Geese ppl p**s me off sometimes. You are going and you are the mother. You are not trying to undermine your daughter's day. It's a wedding - a celebration and everyone that comes to it will have their own 'issues'. Just bc they cannot be seen doesn't mean they do not have exist. Your friend might try and have some instinct about how challenging this is going to be for you and despite this you are still going.

my daughter has always been interested in my PTSD.

That is great. She will understand you have your limits and need a break from the festivities now and then.
 
Last edited:
I’m feeling a little better about the trip. Today I had my mani pedi and I haven’t heard from my daughter so her fiancé must be there by now to help her. At therapy today I asked my t to help me name the feelings I’m having. I’m so used to numbing my uncomfortable feelings, figuring out if I feel loss or fear of the fumes or low self esteem and sure I’ll embarrass myself. But I’m hanging onto the advice ya’ll gave me and I feel today that I can do this. On a lighter side, I’ve been trying to trap a mouse in a humane trap. Somehow he gets in, eats the peanut butter and gets out. He’s burrowed a hole through the steel wool I put in the hole in the wall. I’m sorry to say that he had his opportunity to live. I’ve set killing traps today. I’m going to get a professional to find and seal all the places that the mice get in.
 
I feel today that I can do this.

Likely you will feel up some of the time and down other's. It is going to be a hell of a trip KwanYingirl but apart from your daughter actually getting married nothing is more important than you getting home safely. The rest will fade into memory.

I’ve been trying to trap a mouse in a humane trap.

I have so much experience with mice. Sorry mouse...I agree with you KwanYingirl - he and his cousins etc cannot reside in your home! Mice will find their way back to a food source or warmth. So I don't agree with humane traps. Mice exploit them.

When they get into big enough numbers they can eat their way through almost anything. I can smell a mouse at a thousand metres. I had a rat plague once in my home because their nest was disturbed on a neighbouring property. Oh it was hell.

If you are feeling particularly murderous try leaving baits wherever they are trying to come in. While you are away. It was the only way I could control them at one time.
 
Mice along with a score of other vermin need to be eliminated without mercy. We lived in an old farm house out in the woods and I have great stories about my battles against Mother Nature in and out of the house. In the end we contracted with an eco friendly exterminator. It was the best money I ever spent. If you think you have "a" mouse, you are sadly mistaken. Aside from eating, which includes contaminating your food and gnawing your wires, which will burn the house down, breeding is what they do best. The exterminator came quarterly. It improved the quality of life tremendously, even eliminating most of the house spiders in the windows. I thought for a long time I could handle them, I was wrong.
 
One mouse dead. Left traps in every room. I’ve made it to NH. Now I am on time but my friend is running late, so right now I’m in a massive overnight parking area off Rte 93. Next leg to western MA. It’s easier to cope if I just tell myself I’m just going to the next state. I woke up at 1:30 this morning in a panic. I’m hoping my traveling companion will drive through MA and CT and I’ll do NY and PA. I’ll try to sleep.

I must say, I feel very vulnerable in this huge parking lot. There’s nothing and no one around. I’ve got my key in my he ignition and all my doors locked.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top